Love is not the glue that holds relationships together, but the fuel that gives us the energy to put in effort and work at it.
Establishing boundaries and saying no to people is an expression of self-love, ensuring that you are respectful to yourself and focused on your own well-being.
Small L love represents validation and immediate pleasure, while Big L love nourishes the soul and leads to long-term fulfillment. It is essential to prioritize the pursuit of Big L love.
Deep dives
Recognizing the Power of Love
Love is not the glue that holds relationships together, but the fuel that gives us the energy to put in effort and work at it.
Setting Boundaries and Prioritizing Self-Love
Establishing boundaries and saying no to people is an expression of self-love, ensuring that you are respectful to yourself and focused on your own well-being.
Differentiating between Small L and Big L Love
Small L love represents validation and immediate pleasure, while Big L love nourishes the soul and leads to long-term fulfillment. It is essential to prioritize the pursuit of Big L love.
Overcoming People-Pleasing Tendencies
Reminding oneself that not everyone's opinion holds equal weight and that it is impossible to please everyone is crucial. Focusing on meaningful connections with those who truly care and support you can help combat the need to constantly seek approval.
Embracing Enoughness and Worthy for People
There is no measure of enoughness or worthiness when it comes to people. Love does not require worthiness or qualification. The imperfections of the people we authentically love do not disqualify them from our love. Society's ideals of needing to buy stuff and seek external validation stem from the fear of feeling left out, triggering our ancient fear of unacceptance. The chase for material possessions and validation is endless and unsatisfying.
Finding Love and Healing After Loss
To heal and find love after loss, it is important to revisit past pain and traumatic experiences. Facing triggers and allowing ourselves to feel the negative emotions associated with loss is necessary for healing and growth. Progress rather than perfection is the goal, as we integrate the learnings and fill the gaps left by flawed caretakers. Being our own nurturing parent and treating ourselves with kindness and love is essential. Love is about internal work, embracing imperfections, and finding peace in the present moment.
Humble The Poet (Kanwer Singh), is a Canadian-born rapper, spoken-word artist, poet, best-selling author, What began as reciting spoken word poetry in coffee shops to impress girls evolved into a creative adventure that has spanned the last 10 years.
