From Sex & Love Addiction to Self-Care as Public Service | Liz Gilbert EP 905
Feb 28, 2025
Elizabeth Gilbert opens up about her battles with sex and love addiction, revealing how her quest for validation led to destructive patterns. After years of searching for the perfect relationship formula, she found clarity through a 12-step program at age 50. Gilbert emphasizes that self-care isn't just personal—it’s a humanitarian act that impacts those around us. Her journey through two marriages teaches vital lessons about love, connection, and the importance of addressing our own needs before seeking fulfillment from others.
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insights INSIGHT
Self-Care as Public Service
Self-care is crucial for healthy relationships.
Neglecting it can lead to neediness, manipulation, and harm towards others.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Three Different Partners
Liz Gilbert brought three different partners to the same couples therapist.
She sought the "perfect relationship formula" to fill a void, highlighting her sex and love addiction.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Late Discovery
Gilbert didn't discover the 12-step program for sex and love addiction until age 50.
Before that, she spent lots of money on traditional therapy without success.
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"The greatest harm that I've ever done to other people was through me not knowing how to take care of myself. Nobody is safe from me when I need them that much." - Elizabeth Gilbert
Elizabeth Gilbert unveils her decades-long struggle with sex and love addiction with disarming candor, revealing how her pattern of seeking validation and fulfillment through relationships created a destructive cycle. Despite years of therapy and thousands of dollars spent trying to change, it wasn't until age 50 that she discovered the 12-step program that finally addressed her core issues. Gilbert shares how she brought three different partners to the same therapist—outside her marriages—in a desperate search for the perfect relationship formula to fill what she describes as "this great echoing God-sized hole within me."
Behind her public success, Gilbert confronted the painful reality that her unmet needs transformed her into someone "super needy, super clingy and super manipulative," using others as "parental replacements" or "unpaid therapists." Her profound realization that proper self-care isn't merely personal wellness but a "deeply humanitarian public service" offers powerful wisdom for anyone caught in destructive relationship patterns. Through her vulnerability, Gilbert illuminates how genuine healing begins when we stop expecting others to solve our inner emptiness and instead take responsibility for our own emotional well-being.