The Art of Manliness

#339: The Power of Likability

Sep 14, 2017
Mitch Prinstein, a professor of adolescent psychology and author of "Popular," explores the fascinating dynamics of popularity versus likability. He reveals how striving for popularity can harm our long-term well-being, while being likable fosters genuine relationships. Mitch shares that children recognize likability by age five and discusses the psychological impacts of adolescent social experiences on adult life. He provides strategies for enhancing likability and navigating the often superficial realm of social media effectively.
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INSIGHT

Popularity Shapes Lifelong Well-Being

  • Popularity influences our social and psychological development deeply and affects happiness into adulthood.
  • Popularity dynamics matter in adult contexts like employment, idea acceptance, and relationships.
INSIGHT

Two Types of Popularity

  • Popularity splits into two types: status popularity and likability popularity.
  • Status popularity is recognition by dominance, likability is based on being enjoyed and valued by others.
INSIGHT

The Hidden Power of Likeability vs. Status Popularity

Mitch Prinstein reveals that popularity is actually twofold: status popularity and likability. Status popularity, often seen in dominant or aggressive individuals like high school "cool kids," brings short-term benefits but leads to long-term downsides such as loneliness and anxiety.

Conversely, likability — being positive, inclusive, and genuinely caring — leads to sustained success and happiness throughout life. Unlike status seekers, likable people make others feel valued, creating a virtuous cycle of positive social connections.

Prinstein emphasizes that we often carry our adolescent social status into adulthood, influencing how we interpret social interactions. The key to changing this is acknowledging those patterns, questioning our biases, and adopting behaviors that foster genuine likability.

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