A former church girl's search for a new spiritual home
Jan 29, 2024
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Follow a former churchgoer's journey to find a new spiritual home, including experiences at a sex party, exploring spirituality in a queer life, and the connection between pain, power, and spirituality. Discover their search for a new spiritual home and their hesitation about using mushrooms as a path to spirituality.
Finding spirituality outside of organized religion can involve exploring alternative experiences such as attending a sex party, engaging in BDSM, and considering the use of psychedelics.
Kink practices can provide a unique form of spirituality, offering release, healing from trauma, and a profound sense of connection and personal growth.
Deep dives
Finding Salvation in Unexpected Places
Growing up in a Pentecostal church, the speaker found certainty, salvation, and community. However, as she started questioning the church's treatment of women and her own queer identity, she felt she had to leave, losing her sense of purpose and faith. Exploring alternative spiritual experiences, she shares her journey, including attending a sex party and engaging in BDSM. These experiences provided a sense of release, relief, and spiritual connection. Seeking further spiritual fulfillment, she considers the use of psychedelics and talks with a psychologist who studies mystical experiences induced by substances. In the end, she realizes that spirituality is a personal journey, encompassing various elements and the acceptance of one's whole self.
The Quest for Spirituality Outside the Church
The speaker reflects on her experience leaving the church and the struggles of grappling with her spirituality outside of organized religion. She discusses the deep-rooted fear and trauma associated with questioning religious beliefs and how it can feel like pulling at a tightly bound thread. She explores the need for spirituality to evolve and adapt, using her conversation with a pastor as an example of the potential for growth within religious spaces. Ultimately, she learns that she can hold multiple facets of her identity, such as being a church girl, a kinky individual, and potentially exploring psychedelic experiences, all within her spiritual journey.
The Intersection of Kink and Spirituality
The speaker delves into the intersection between kink and spirituality, sharing insights from conversations with individuals who have found connections between their kink practices and their spiritual beliefs. They discuss the concept of consent, control, and pain within kink experiences, drawing parallels to meditative and trance-like states achieved through rhythmic sensations. These experiences can tap into a profound sense of spirituality, enhancing connectivity and serving as a form of release and healing from trauma. The speaker recognizes the spiritual and transformative potential of kink practices, which can provide a unique form of connection and personal growth.
Exploring Psychedelics for Spiritual Fulfillment
The speaker explores the potential of psychedelic experiences, particularly with psilocybin, to enhance spirituality and provide profound transformative experiences. They discuss research on the positive impact of psychedelics on individuals dealing with anxiety and depression, as well as the connection between mystical experiences induced by psychedelics and an improved sense of well-being. They also delve into conversations with religious leaders who have undergone psychedelic experiences and experienced feelings of intimacy with God. However, the speaker grapples with the fear and uncertainty of delving into the psychedelic realm, suggesting that spirituality is a personal journey that cannot be fully resolved through a single method.
After leaving the Pentecostal Church, reporter Jess Alvarenga has been searching for a new spiritual home. They take us on their journey to find spirituality that includes the dining room dungeon of a dominatrix, Buddhist monks taking magic mushrooms and the pulpit of a Pentecostal church. This episode is a collaboration with our friends at LAist Studios. Special thanks to the Ferriss, UC Berkeley's Psychedelic Journalism program for their support.
