This week on the podcast, Dr Louise is joined by Tova Gillespie, a working single parent to two daughters, one of whom has severe disabilities and complex medical needs. Here she talks about the challenges of being perimenopausal while being a carer and how it’s easy to not recognise or understand your symptoms.

Louise and Tova discuss how it’s easy for your own needs to end up at the bottom of the to-do list when you’re a carer or have a busy family life, and Tova shares three tips for anyone who may not be looking after themselves:

1. Learn to ask for and accept help. People want to help, but very often they don't know how to offer it and our usual response can be ‘no, I don't need anything’. Instead, say straight out: ‘Please do my washing up. Or I have five loads of clean laundry that needs sorting. Or can you bring over some food?’ Anything really.
2. If your health isn't what it should be, go to your GP. When you ring your GP, ask for an appointment to talk about perimenopause and hormones. They’ll know from the get go what it is you're after and if they have anyone in the clinic with an interest in that area, they’ll put you in with that person.
3. Try to see the good every day. I do gratitude journalling, where I write down a minimum of three positive things that have happened that day, and they're not big. It could be the sun is shining. It could be the taste of that first sip of coffee in the morning. I train myself to look for the positive because it's so easy to get overwhelmed in the bad stuff.

Learn more about Tova on her YouTube channel. Or follow her on Instagram @parentXP

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