MFP 360: Don't be Afraid of Screwing Up Your Kids (because you already are!)

"Learning how to trust God and let go of our fears, worries, and frustrations is the best way to model peace for our children." — Dr. Gregory Bottaro

Summary

This week on the Messy Family Podcast, we are joined by Dr. Greg Bottaro for a heartfelt and practical conversation every parent needs to hear. In this interview, Dr. Greg explains why kids are not naturally built to listen and why so many of us parents end up frustrated. His solution is simple and hopeful. Get clear on the rulebook you grew up with, compare it with your spouse's, and build a shared one that gives your children a steady sense of security. We talk about unity in marriage, how it shapes a child's emotional world, and why kids feel safest when mom and dad stand together. Dr. Gregg also breaks down attachment parenting, pointing out what helps, what stresses families, and why connection between parents matters more than perfect technique. Listen in to get tools for handling anxiety and staying grounded. You will walk away encouraged, supported, and ready to grow as a family (we were!).

Key Takeaways

Children are not naturally built to listen Their brains are still developing, so parents need realistic expectations and a shared rulebook to guide family life with consistency.

Parental unity creates a child's secure base A cohesive marriage provides emotional safety. When parents stand together, children regulate better, feel protected, and thrive.

Attachment parenting works best when parents are connected to each other The focus should not be on perfect techniques, but on calm, present, regulated parents who work as a team.

Faith and community strengthen parenting Trust in divine providence and a grounded spiritual life help parents grow in emotional maturity.

Catholic mindfulness reduces anxiety Mindful presence, paired with trust in God, reshapes anxious brain patterns. Even a few minutes a day can improve decision making, calm fears about parenting, and support healthier family relationships.

Couple Discussion Questions

• What were our "rulebooks" from our families when we were growing up? How can we create our own rulebook for our family?

• When do we feel most united in our parenting? When do we feel most divided?