1963: Weekend Homework Assignment: Six Seconds to Happy Couplehood by Theo Pauline Nestor with Gottman Institute
Nov 14, 2023
10:33
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Theo Pauline Nestor discusses creating happy couplehood through small gestures. Transitional moments, like reunions and partings, strengthen bonds and prevent betrayals. Staying connected and checking in, prioritizing relationships, and engaging in six-second kisses are key to a happy partnership.
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Quick takeaways
Transitional moments, such as parting and reunion, hold great significance in establishing and preserving a healthy relationship.
The six-second kiss, along with other intentional acts of affection, strengthens the bond between partners and protects the relationship from negative thoughts and detachment.
Deep dives
Importance of Transitional Moments in Relationships
Transitional moments play a vital role in establishing and maintaining a healthy relationship. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship researcher, emphasizes the significance of rituals of connection during these moments. They not only reestablish a couple's bond but also protect the relationship from betrayal. Attention and presence during parting and reunion convey the message that your partner is valuable to you. These momentary transitions contribute to a deep level of understanding and attunement in couples, which acts as a defense against negative thinking and detachment from the relationship.
The Six Second Kiss for a Better Relationship
The six-second kiss is a simple yet powerful activity recommended by Dr. Gottman to incorporate into daily transitional moments. This intentional act of affection serves as a break from the demands of daily life and promotes a romantic connection between partners. The six-second kiss is part of the 'magic five hours,' extra time couples devote to their relationship each week. Alongside reunions and partings, this focused attention on each other reinforces the bond and safeguards the relationship from negative comparisons and thoughts that can lead to detachment and betrayal.
Creating Meaningful Goodbyes
Saying goodbye properly can significantly impact the thoughts and feelings partners have while apart. Taking a moment to express how much you enjoyed the shared time and discussing future plans or when you'll next communicate helps maintain the sense of connection. Dr. Gottman highlights the importance of understanding your partner's upcoming day. Knowing the important events or commitments shows that you care and deepens the sense of togetherness. By incorporating these simple gestures and rituals into departures, couples can enhance the quality of their relationships even during times of transition and separation.
Theo Pauline Nestor with The Gottman Institute on six seconds to happy couplehood.
Episode 1963: Weekend Homework Assignment: Six Seconds to Happy Couplehood by Theo Pauline Nestor with Gottman Institute
The Gottman Institute understands that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is their mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. They are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is their goal to make their services accessible to the broadest reach of people across race, religion, class, culture, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. Want to improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less? Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time. Got a minute? Sign up for The Gottman Institute's Marriage Minute at http://OLDPodcast.com/marriage