Stop Trying to Be a “Good” Woman feat. Author Elise Loehnen
Jan 1, 2024
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Author Elise Loehnen discusses the misconceptions around being a 'good woman' and how the seven deadly sins can actually be empowering. Topics include embracing pride, using envy to figure out desires, owning lustfulness, and the societal policing of women's bodies. They also discuss the challenges of conforming to beauty standards, the pressure around female sexuality, and the importance of expressing emotions in a healthy way.
Elise Loehnen explores how the concept of patriarchy influences women to police themselves and each other, creating a culture that stifles women's desires and needs.
The seven deadly sins have been used to shame and control women, but Elise challenges the notion that women are simply good or bad based on adherence to these sins.
Women need to prioritize supporting and uplifting each other rather than tearing each other down, as the harmful effects of women policing other women can damage female relationships.
Women should embrace their anger and use it productively, as it is an animating emotion that can drive positive change and challenge societal norms.
Deep dives
The Genesis of the Book
Elise Lohnen wrote the book after experiencing chronic hyperventilation and wanting to understand why women police themselves and keep each other small. She wanted to address her own anxiety and explore why women have a constant feeling of not being enough.
Unpacking the Patriarchy
Elise dives into the concept of patriarchy and how it influences women to police themselves and each other, creating a culture where women are constantly striving to be desirable but not desiring, and where women are expected to be good but not have their own desires and needs.
The Seven Deadly Sins
Elise examines how the seven deadly sins have been used to police women, perpetuate shame, and reinforce patriarchal norms. She challenges the notion that women are simply good or bad based on adherence to these sins.
Women on Women Crime
Elise explores the dynamics of women policing other women and the harmful effects it has on female relationships. She emphasizes the importance of supporting and uplifting other women rather than tearing them down.
Importance of Challenging Societal Norms for Women
Women often conform to societal norms, even if they don't see themselves as conformists. The impact of culture and societal expectations on women's decisions and behaviors cannot be ignored.
The Complex Relationship Between Envy and Self-Reflection
Envy can serve as an indicator of what we truly want, and acknowledging it can help us understand ourselves better. Envy is often conditioned and repressed in women, leading to criticism of others instead of self-reflection.
The Importance of Pride and Overcoming Scarcity Mentality
Pride should not be seen negatively, but as an essential element of bringing our gifts to the world. Overcoming the scarcity mentality is crucial, as women often focus on competition with each other instead of recognizing their unique talents and supporting one another.
The Power of Embracing Anger and Asserting Needs
Anger is an animating emotion that helps articulate our needs and set boundaries. Women need to embrace their anger, use it productively, and express it in healthy ways, as it can drive positive change and challenge societal norms.
We are kicking off the year with a very enlightening conversation with Elise Loehnen, author of the New York Times bestseller On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good. We discuss these seven “sins” and the (wrong) notion we’ve been fed that a “good woman” is not supposed to indulge them, and why it’s so much easier to damage a woman's reputation than a man’s. We chat about embracing pride, using your envy to figure out what you want in life, owning your lustfulness, and why anger is a positive emotion. We also talk about the nonstop policing and judging of women’s bodies, why we punish ourselves for being “gluttonous,” and how we can learn to accept our bodies. There is so much ground covered, but above all – the importance of women supporting each other in the name of world domination.
Before Elise joins us, we’re doing a quick Christmas/appetizer contest recap, sharing our goals for 2024, as well as some from our audience, and announcing the official slogan for the year. Enjoy!
