Exploring the multifaceted nature of attraction beyond physical appearance, highlighting the power of expressing our true selves in dating, and discussing the deeper and more complex process of falling for someone.
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Quick takeaways
Attraction goes beyond looks, it's about subtle micro behaviors that trigger deep attraction in others.
Being authentic and expressing our true selves from the start allows for meaningful connections and micro attractions to occur.
Deep dives
Attraction is more than just looks or flirting
Attraction is often oversimplified as being solely about looks or visual chemistry. While that may be the initial spark, there's also a part of attraction that goes beyond the surface. It's the subtle, micro behaviors that make someone unique and special. These behaviors are often the moments that trigger deep attraction in others, but they are often underrated. For example, acts of kindness, thoughtfulness, or positive outlook on life can ignite a strong attraction in someone.
Micro attractions create deeper connections
Micro attractions are the understated moments and behaviors that make us realize someone is a person we want to spend a lifetime with. These micro attractions are not about superficial qualities like money or popularity, but rather the qualities of character and integrity. These small moments, like buying a book that means a lot to someone or choosing work over social plans, create powerful connections that make a person feel deeply attracted to another. It's important to value our growth as individuals and nurture these micro attractions.
Being true to yourself is attractive
Being comfortable and unafraid to express our idiosyncratic traits and interests is key to engendering attraction in others. It's important to be authentic and not conform to a specific image of attractiveness. Expressing our passions, vulnerabilities, and quirks from the early stages of dating allows us to filter out those who don't appreciate or understand us. By showing our true selves, we create opportunities for micro attractions to occur and find people who genuinely connect with who we are.
What is the secret that makes a man look into a woman’s eyes and think, “She is the one for me?” It isn’t her looks. It isn’t her masters degree in literature. It isn’t the fact that she had the same favorite pizza place in the city (though that helped…).
No, the reason he fell hard for this woman was because of something no one talks about… Maybe it’s happened to you before: You knew you kind of liked a guy, but then he did one special move that made your heart do a triple back flip – now you are crazy about him. How does this happen??
It’s not about fancy tricks, it’s about understanding this secret of deep, lasting attraction...