The Adversity Advantage with Doug Bopst Signs You Were Raised By A Narcissist & How To Heal From A Damaging Childhood | Dr. Jerry Wise
Aug 25, 2025
Dr. Jerry Wise, a leading voice in family systems, shares his extensive insights on the impact of being raised by narcissists. He identifies subtle signs of such upbringings, the differences between strict and narcissistic control, and how these experiences affect adult relationships. The conversation covers the journey from self-blame to healing, the critical unmet needs of children from toxic families, and offers strategies for breaking unhealthy patterns. Wise emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and setting boundaries to reclaim personal power.
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Common Traits Of Adult Children Of Narcissists
- Adult children of narcissists (ACONs) are typically hypervigilant and deeply self-critical from living in volatile homes.
- They often question love, struggle with control, and carry codependency or anger rooted in childhood dynamics.
Use A Map To Stop Blaming Yourself
- Get a clear map or framework to understand narcissistic behavior so you stop blaming yourself.
- Reframe the problem as a maladaptive disorder rather than your personal defect to emotionally protect yourself.
The Two-Faced Mask And Love-Bombing
- Narcissistic parents often present a charming public mask while being cold or controlling at home, creating deep confusion.
- Love-bombing and gifts can be manipulative tools to cover mistreatment and avoid confrontation.