At Peace Parents Podcast Ep. 87 - Controlling, Criticizing and Destructive Equalizing in PDA Children and Teens
Nov 7, 2024
Explore the intriguing behaviors of children and teens with Pathological Demand Avoidance. Learn how their attempts to control, criticize, or disrupt can stem from a nervous system response known as equalizing. Discover practical examples and compassionate strategies to better understand and support your child through these challenging moments. Gain insights into regaining a sense of safety and autonomy while fostering peace in your family dynamic.
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Equalizing Is A Nervous-System Drive
- Equalizing is a reflexive nervous-system response that restores a PDA person's sense of autonomy and equality.
- It is driven by subconscious neuroception, not conscious manipulation or goal-directed intent.
Equalizing Can Be Immediate Or Cumulative
- Equalizing can occur instantly or build up over time from cumulative activation.
- Many PDA children appear fine at school then equalize at home where they feel safest.
Put On The PDA Lens
- Try using the 'PDA lens' and assume the behavior is nervous-system driven rather than manipulative.
- Support the survival brain first instead of enforcing rational, behavioral corrections in the moment.