Solo – The Single Person’s Guide to a Remarkable Life Intimacy Design
Oct 23, 2025
Lisa Dawn Hamilton, a sex educator and psychology professor, joins Peter McGraw to explore the innovative concept of Intimacy Design. They delve into the importance of co-creating authentic sexual experiences and discuss using strategies like yes/no/maybe lists to clarify desires. Hamilton emphasizes the need for open dialogue around sexual health and consent, debunking myths about spontaneity by advocating for planned intimacy. They also share practical advice for navigating difficult conversations and normalizing discussions about sexual preferences, enhancing both safety and pleasure.
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Design Relationships Intentionally
- Practice relationship design: have intentional conversations about expectations, rules, and regular check-ins.
- Revisit and revise agreements regularly to keep the relationship working for everyone.
Negotiate Sex Beforehand
- Sex negotiations are trickier because sex feels vulnerable, so most negotiation should happen before sex.
- Leave room for improvisation during sex but prioritize pre-sex conversations for safety and comfort.
Use A Yes/No/Maybe Checklist
- Use yes/no/maybe checklists with partners to map desires and curiosities and build anticipation.
- Treat 'maybe' as a conversation starter, not pressure to convert it into a yes.
