Dr. BJ Miller, a hospice and palliative care specialist, shares his unique perspective on death and life. He discusses his own near-death experience, the importance of living in the present moment, and why we need to rethink our views on death. Dr. Miller also highlights the power of compassion and service in patient care and explores the concepts of love and forgiveness.
Death can be seen as both sacred and unknowable, challenging our cultural belief that it is inherently horrible.
Bearing witness to someone's suffering and offering genuine companionship can bring comfort and healing, even in the face of death.
Deep dives
The transformative power of facing mortality
Palliative care physician and former senior director of Zen Hospice Project, Dr. B.J. Miller, shares his unique perspective on life and death after losing three limbs in a freak accident as a college student. He encourages us to rethink our beliefs about death and see life and death as inseparable. Reflecting on his own journey, Dr. Miller emphasizes the importance of living in the present moment, letting go of regrets, and finding meaning in our lives.
The significance of witnessing and being present
Dr. B.J. Miller highlights the power of bearing witness to someone's suffering and being fully present in their pain. Through his work, he has learned that offering presence and genuine companionship can provide comfort and healing, even in the face of death. He advocates for creating spaces that allow for open conversations and a compassionate approach to end-of-life care.
Living well and designing a meaningful life
Dr. B.J. Miller suggests that living well and preparing for a good death go hand in hand. He encourages us to live without regret by regularly checking in with ourselves and ensuring that our actions align with what truly matters to us. By living authentically and finding harmony with our beliefs and values, we can cultivate a sense of peace and fulfillment.
The role of forgiveness and love
Dr. B.J. Miller emphasizes the transformative power of forgiveness and love. He believes that forgiveness is a profound act of kindness that allows us to move forward, create space for healing, and find joy in the time we have. Dr. Miller sees love as an omnipresent force, and he encourages us to embrace it and create safe spaces for both giving and receiving love.
Dr. BJ Miller is a hospice and palliative care specialist who treats patients with life-altering and terminal illnesses at the University of California in San Francisco. Dr. Miller shares his revelations about a subject that is often taboo in our culture: the experience of death. He describes the moment after a person's death and explains why it is both sacred and unknowable. While a sophomore in college, Dr. Miller suffered a devastating electrical shock throughout his body. He lost half his arm and both his legs below the knee. He talks about how this earth-shattering experience proved to be a spiritual wake-up call and how it left him with an extraordinary sense of what it means to confront death. Dr. Miller discusses why he thinks it’s time for us to rethink the idea that “death is inherently horrible.” He also reveals what he's learned about regret by experiencing “vicarious deathbed moments” in his practice. Dr. Miller’s book is titled “A Beginner’s Guide to the End.”