139: How Living Out of Alignment Causes Anxiety & Depression

Learn more about Kelly's Relaxed Woman System here.

What if women aren’t broken—but exhausted from living by values that don’t belong to them?

Emotional suffering is often framed as pathology. But what if it’s information? What we call anxiety or depression can arise when our lived priorities are fundamentally misaligned with our inner values. When a life is organized around productivity, achievement, approval, or external validation, while deeper values point toward connection, intimacy, creativity, or pleasure, the psyche resists.

For many women, this conflict shows up as burnout, resentment, guilt, or a persistent sense of futility. Not because something is wrong, but because self-abandonment has become normalized. Priorities are inherited, absorbed, and performed long after they stop feeding us.

This episode explores women’s mental health through a different lens: symptoms as signals. Guilt as guidance. Exhaustion as feedback.

When fulfillment is chased where it was never available, the system eventually collapses. Depression as a signal may be the moment a deeper truth insists on being heard.

This is an invitation to examine your priorities and values, question what you’ve been taught to want, and consider what becomes possible when reprioritizing your life restores authentic expression.

You’ll Learn:

[00:00] Introduction

[01:02] Depression reframed as the futility of living by priorities that cannot fulfill you

[03:12] Resentment and frustration as early signals that your values and actions are misaligned

[05:18] Self-abandonment as a learned strategy for belonging and approval

[08:04] Burnout as the cost of organizing life around values that don’t actually feed women

[10:02] The “hungry ghost” cycle created by chasing success, productivity, or validation

[12:37] Guilt as an invitation to reorganize priorities rather than suppress discomfort

[14:48] Alignment as the relief that comes from fully owning the choices you’ve already made

[17:06] Reprioritization as a doorway to connection, intimacy, and renewed life force

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