171: Why Most Marriages Fail Emotionally — And How to Prevent It

In this episode of the BraveCo Podcast, I sit down with my favorite guest — my wife, Lauren, to dive deep into emotional connection in marriage. We’ve spent years leading marriage intensives, learning through trial and error what it really means to build a relationship that lasts. This week’s conversation is all about the “emotional bank account” — what it is, how it works, and why it’s the foundation of a thriving marriage.

We talk about what it looks like to turn toward one another on a daily basis — not just when it’s convenient or easy, but especially when you don’t feel like it. From creating healthy routines to responding to emotional bids, we unpack practical strategies you can use right now to strengthen your relationship. Whether you're newly married or deep into the trenches of family life, this episode offers timeless tools for connection.

Our hope is that you don’t just survive your marriage—you thrive in it. It doesn’t take massive changes; it takes daily intention. So, whether you’re listening alone or with your spouse, we challenge you this week: Set an alarm, make that small deposit, and choose to turn toward each other. You’ll be surprised how quickly those little actions add up.

Chapters:
00:00 - Why Most Men Feel Lost in Marriage Today
00:34 - Meet My Favorite Guest: My Wife Lauren Valatin
02:01 - What Is an Emotional Bank Account?
04:08 - How Disconnection Makes Marriage Feel Brittle
06:43 - Investing Emotionally: It’s Free but Costly if Ignored
12:09 - Why Small Daily Acts Create a Strong Marriage
14:22 - Turning Toward Each Other: What It Really Looks Like
21:09 - The Power of Alarms and Daily Emotional Deposits
23:12 - Understanding Bids for Connection and How to Respond
36:12 - Why Predictable Routines Build Secure Relationships

ABOUT BRAVECO
We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.