Point of Relation with Thomas Huebl

Esther Perel & Jack Saul - Breaking Intergenerational Trauma

Mar 28, 2023

Renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel and trauma expert Jack Saul discuss intergenerational trauma and its impacts on relationships and trauma healing. They explore the role of creativity, imagination, and creating new narratives in trauma healing. The podcast also delves into the importance of compassionate listening, the connection between trauma and creativity, and the power of safe spaces for conversations about trauma and conflict.

01:14:33

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Episode guests

Esther Perel

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Quick takeaways

Using imagination can connect us to freedom even in oppressive environments.

Children can recover from trauma through theatrical improvisation and telling their stories.

Creativity is vital for trauma survivors to establish a sense of aliveness and engage in joy, pleasure, and playfulness.

Deep dives

The significance of trauma on intimacy and relationships

Esther Perel and Jack Saw discuss how personal and intergenerational trauma impact intimacy and relationships. They emphasize that survivors often bring their fears and expectations of harm into their relationships, leading to a perpetuation of negative dynamics. Esther Perel highlights the notion of confirmation bias, where survivors set up relationships that reinforce their expectations. This pattern is especially common among couples with experiences of intergenerational trauma.

Introduction

2min

Trauma, Intergenerational Trauma, and Collective Trauma

14min

Trauma, Creativity, and Healing

24min

Connecting Through Theater: Healing Trauma

10min

The Power of Compassionate Listening and Engaging the Public

2min

The Power of Safe Spaces

21min

The World's Impact on Therapy and the Evolving Therapeutic Process

2min

Intergenerational trauma is a huge part of Esther Perels and Jack Saul’s personal histories and work. In today’s podcast, Thomas, Esther, and Jack dig deep into their stories of working with trauma survivors and discuss how creativity, eroticism, and creating new narratives can affect trauma healing, intimate relationships, and the impacts of intergenerational trauma.

What You Will Discover:

✔️ Freedom in confinement comes from our imagination.

What makes people stay alive? Wherever a person may be, they can use their imagination to take their soul elsewhere. This ability connects us to freedom, even in oppressive environments.

✔️ Employ compassionate listening.

Jack Saul shares his experience of helping children recover through theatrical improvisation. He explains that children need this opportunity to convey their stories to the public, acknowledging the events that happened in these children’s lives.

✔️ Creativity is an active engagement with the unknown.

Psychotherapist Esther Perel is the child of Holocaust survivors. She believes her parents worked hard to maintain a sense of aliveness - to establish a place of safety from which they could engage in joy, pleasure, and playfulness.

✔️ How you were loved can impact how you make love.

Trauma constricts us from allowing intimate contact. It causes an involuntary recoil, and the mind no longer learns how to trust. Esther Perel explains her work as loosening up a person on every level - from body language to verbal communication. It’s her mission to teach trauma survivors to grant themselves permission to enjoy the emotional and physical satisfaction of their sexual relationships.

✔️ New experiences change the meaning of the past.

Survivors may shudder at a slight touch, as they have associated the feeling with a traumatic event. To progress in the healing process, they must experience pleasurable contact to erase the negative mental connection.

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Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author, Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED talks have garnered more than 20 million views and her international bestseller Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence became a global phenomenon translated into 25 languages. Her newest book is the New York Times bestseller The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity (HarperCollins).

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Jack Saul is a licensed psychologist, practicing in Manhattan, New York. I trained at the Judge Baker Guidance Center, Harvard Medical School, the Cambridge Family Institute, and the Minuchin Center for the Family. He is a member of the American Family Therapy Academy and the Founding Director of the International Trauma Studies Program. He offers psychotherapy to individuals, couples, and families, and utilizes a family systems orientation emphasizing a narrative, dialogic, and resilience-based approach. His expertise is in working with individuals with relationship challenges, anxiety, depression, PTSD, trauma and traumatic loss, complicated grief, life and work stress, childhood fears and behavioral and academic difficulties, parenting, intimacy, desire, and sex in couples.

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Thomas Hübl is a renowned teacher, author, and international facilitator whose lifelong work integrates the core insights of the great wisdom traditions and mysticism with the discoveries of science. Since 2004, he has taught and facilitated programs with more than 100,000 people worldwide, including online courses which he began offering in 2008. The origin of his work and more than two decades of study and practice on healing collective trauma is detailed in his book Healing Collective Trauma: A Process for Integrating Our Intergenerational and Cultural Wounds

Connect with Thomas here:

👉 pointofrelationpodcast.com