ERP 174: How to Experience More Love in Your Relationship with Byron Katie

Guest Byron Katie:

In 1986, at the bottom of a ten-year spiral into depression, rage, and self-loathing, Byron Katie woke up one morning to a state of constant joy that has never left her. She realized that when she believed her stressful thoughts, she suffered, but that when she questioned them, she didn't suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Her simple yet powerful process of inquiry is called The Work.

The Work consists of four questions and the turnarounds, which are a way of experiencing the opposite of what you believe. When you question a thought, you see around it to the choices beyond suffering.

Katie has been bringing The Work to millions of people for more than thirty years. Her public events, weekend workshops, five-day intensives, nine-day School for The Work, and 28-day residential Turnaround House have brought freedom to people all over the world.

Byron Katie's books include the bestselling Loving What Is, I Need Your Love—Is That True?, A Thousand Names for Joy, and A Mind at Home with Itself. For more information, visit thework.com.

In this episode, Bryon Katie and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss:

• The source of suffering is often what you are thinking and believing in any situation.
• Our judgments come between connection.
• The Work is a self-inquiry process to identify your thoughts, thinking, and believing; and then to question them through the Four Questions and Turnarounds.
• Our ego takes over our lives when are being our thoughts and thinking without self-inquiry.
• The Work is a meditative process, which includes getting still and getting in touch with your fullter experience.
• It takes courage to question our thinking, thoughts, and believing, to see our part, and look at ourselves from a different perspective.
• We are more powerful that what we are thinking or believing.
• The Work calls on us to take responsibility for our actions, thinking and life.
• The Work allows us to wake up to our true reality of our nature.

Takeaways:

• With The Work, we can heal ourselves, and when we meet the next human being, we are more aware and enlightened to ourselves.
• There may only be six questions on the worksheet. However, it may take a week, or it might take two weeks, but go deeply.
• The Work is an inquiry; it's a way to identify the thought that you're thinking and believing in an actual situation in the past or situations that you imagine will happen in the future. The situations that you may fear or dread.

"If I can get free, then anyone can get free, it's a process. We either believe our thoughts, or we question them, there is no other choice." — Byron Katie

Mentioned:

• Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet (Byron Katie's website) Scroll down to the bottom or the page. You can also find the "One-Belief-at-a-Time Worksheet" as well.
• Byron Katie's story (website - about page)
• The Work (website)
• Byron Katie's events (website)
• Loving What Is (book) (please use this hyperlink)
• I Need Your Love—Is That True? (book) (please use this hyperlink)

• A Thousand Names for Joy (book) (please use this hyperlink)

• A Mind at Home with Itself (book) (please use this hyperlink)

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss; please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you!

If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Referenced Documents:

The Work Worksheet

Connect with Byron Katie:

Twitter: @ByronKatie

Facebook: facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie

Website: thework.com

Book: thework.com/books

YouTube: youtube.com/Thework

Instagram: instagram.com/byron.katie

Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins:

Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship

Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins

Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts

Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins

Twitter: @DrJessHiggins

Website: drjessicahiggins.com

Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com