When Your Child Questions Their Gender: A Parent’s Guide to Staying Calm [Parental Guidance Ep. 4]

Few topics divide parents more than gender identity — and the stakes couldn’t be higher. On the last episode of Parental Guidance, the debate ignited strong emotions and hard truths about what it means to protect our kids’ mental health while avoiding irreversible mistakes. 

In today’s podcast, Justin and Kylie break down the episode, share insights from research, and offer calm, practical advice for navigating this sensitive topic as a parent.

KEY POINTS:

• Why this issue is so emotionally loaded.
• What we don’t know
• The strong correlation between gender identity struggles and other issues like autism, anxiety, depression, and online influences
• Why ‘affirmation-only’ models are controversial
• The role of screens and peer groups in shaping kids’ beliefs about gender.
• Why delaying medical or surgical interventions while maintaining love and openness can be the wisest path forward

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:

"You want to keep your kids safe, loved, and supported — but you also want to move slowly, with wisdom and care, because these decisions have lifelong consequences." — Justin Coulson

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Time to Think by Hannah Barnes (on the Tavistock Clinic and gender identity diagnoses)
• Articles and more resources at happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

1. Limit screen time and social media exposure, especially to platforms like TikTok or Tumblr where gender identity narratives can be amplified.
2. Check your child’s peer group influences — and watch for “cluster” patterns in friend groups.
3. Find a good psychologist or counsellor who will explore underlying emotional, developmental, and psychological factors instead of rushing to affirm.
4. Stay compassionate and keep the dialogue open with your child. Let them know you love and support them unconditionally — while explaining that serious medical decisions can wait.
5. Delay irreversible interventions (like hormones or surgery) until your child is much older and has had time to mature and reflect.

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