Savage Lovecast Episode 989

8 snips

Oct 14, 2025

A woman struggles to help her boyfriend feel confident about his body, while a man in non-monogamous dating looks for slimmer partners. The discussion turns to the mysterious shortage of gay tops and how to navigate sex-positive spaces without overwhelming advances. Plus, a supportive gunkle seeks advice on connecting with his potentially gay great-nephew in a conservative setting. The conversation is a mix of body image, relationship dynamics, and the challenges of navigating sexual identities.

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ADVICE

Support Insecurities With Sex That Fits

Keep affirming and loving his body while centering sex around what feels comfortable for him right now.
Shift to mutual masturbation or oral sex and remind him penetration is available when he wants it.

INSIGHT

Not Everyone Likes Penetration

Some men may not enjoy penetrative sex and instead prefer other sexual activities like oral or mutual masturbation.
Dan Savage suggests the existence of 'sides' outside the top/bottom paradigm applies in straight relationships too.

ADVICE

Find Your Crowd Rather Than Settle

Do the legwork to find partners who match your body-type preferences instead of forcing yourself into communities where they are underrepresented.
Be polite but honest: ‘‘I am not feeling it’’ is a sufficient and kind declination when uninterested.

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Compare and contrast these two body image calls: A woman's boyfriend is so insecure about his big body, that he can't get hard. She thinks he's hot as can be but can't seem to convince him of this. Meanwhile, a man finds that most of the women he meets in his open relationship dating community are too fat for him. Where can he find some skinny chicks into non-monogamy?

Is there a top shortage? Not enough tops? Should we panic? Where are they???

On the Magnum, learn all about pup play with Amp! Amp is a Producer, streamer and co-creator of the kink educational channel "Watts The Safeword." He and Dan chat about the difference between light-hearted rolling-around-on-the-floor type pup play vs. hardcore BDSM pup play. They also talk about how very unwelcome children are at Folsom, and learn all about Locktober! (If you aren't already celebrating, as Amp is.)

And, guncle to the rescue! A man living in South America has a 12 year-old great nephew, who he is convinced is gay. The poor kid lives in blood red Trump country in a conservative family. The caller worries that if he isn't subtle enough in his outreach to this boy, that he'll out him, and all hell will break loose.

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

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