At Peace Parents Podcast Ep. 142 - Toileting and Pathological Demand Avoidance - Part 1
Jan 30, 2026
A three-part deep dive into toileting with PDA, focusing on long-term thinking rather than quick fixes. It covers common toilet challenges like wiping, holding, constipation, and accidents. The conversation reframes toileting as a stress response tied to autonomy and burnout. Practical accommodation ideas and a simple tracking approach are offered to watch gradual change over months.
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Toileting Is Rooted In Threat, Not Skill
- PDA behavior often stems from a subconscious threat response in the amygdala rather than lack of skill.
- The child's drive for autonomy can override basic needs like toileting when they perceive loss of control.
Toileting As An Indicator Of Accumulated Threat
- Toileting issues are an outcome that indicates accumulated moments when the child perceived threat.
- Control often coalesces around basic needs over months or years as stress accumulates.
Stress Changes The Body's Toileting Responses
- Ongoing nervous-system activation changes physiology, causing both accidents and constipation.
- Fight/flight reduces waste and shutdown slows digestion, both impacting toileting outcomes.