183: Parenting is Not Finished at 18 with Brooklyn Holland

I used to get stressed thinking that if my children weren’t fully formed, totally prepared for the adult world by 18 years old, I was a failure. Then I realized how much I still had to learn and master after 18 years old myself. I STILL rely on the wisdom of my mom and dad.

I asked my daughter Brooklyn to give me perspective on how the tragedies AND blessings have all worked together for good to form her into the amazing young lady she is today. You’ll be encouraged as you listen to Brooklyn share how God grew her past things that mom and dad felt powerless to fix.

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Show Highlights

This week, we got to celebrate the 18th birthday of my oldest daughter Brooklyn.

In her childhood she’s walked through the death of a parent, cancer of her brother, and the loss of several foster children coming and going from home. Additionally, she’s had all of the other normal worries and challenges of a child growing up.

As she grew up, Brooklyn took all of these challenges in stride. But, she also dealt with her own insecurities. As a parent, it’s debilitating and frustrating to think there’s nothing more we can do to help our child other than foster a household with unconditional love.

Starting work was one of Brooklyn’s pivotal moments in her life because it reinforced her capability to do things well, and gave her the opportunity to meet new people. She discovered who she was.

Though she’s 18, she has the wisdom to know that she is still working on growing in some aspects of her life, such as spirituality… as well as practical little responsibilities that come with adulting.

Fellow parents, don’t panic! 18 isn’t a finish line for raising your children. Being able to realize that really eases some of the pressure of parenthood. Even at my age, I still consult my parents when I need to make big, important decisions.

Affirm with your young adult children that you recognize them as adults, that they are capable of taking on more responsibility, but also, there is no expectation that they know how to do everything right at this point. And you as a parent will still be there to coach, guide, and warn – but not control.

Resources Mentioned

• Things for Thursday and free e-book: Text THINGS to 66866
• Previous episode: Questions to Ask Before Dating
• Previous episode: Chick-Fil-A Can Teach Us a Lot About Parenting