95: "The Feminist Promise That’s Destroying Families" - Erica Komisar

If you’re a stretched-thin boss babe, frustrated wife, or “do it all” mamma who just needs a second for yourself, join Kelly’s Free Exhale Masterclass.

Erica Komisar is a psychoanalyst and author specializing in maternal mental health. 

In this episode, you’ll learn why early maternal presence is critical for a child’s emotional well-being, how modern feminism overlooked the developmental needs of children, why feeling bored with your baby may signal deeper psychological issues, the long-term consequences of outsourcing childcare, the link between attachment security and mental health and why prioritizing motherhood in the first three years can change future generations.

Erica Komisar, LCSW, is a clinical social worker, psychoanalyst, and parent guidance expert who has been in private practice in New York City for over 30 years. A graduate of Georgetown and Columbia Universities and The New York Freudian Society, Ms. Komisar is a psychological consultant bringing parenting workshops to clinics, schools, corporations, and childcare settings.

She is a contributor to The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and The New York Daily News. She is also a contributing editor for The Institute for Family Studies and appears regularly on Fox and Friends and Fox 5 News. Erica is the author of Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters and Chicken Little the Sky Isn't Falling: Raising Resilient Adolescents in the New Age of Anxiety.

Timestamps:

[00:00] Introduction  

[00:30] Why prioritizing motherhood is essential

[01:45] The myth of work-life balance for women

[03:12] Feminism’s impact on motherhood and career expectations

[05:00] The consequences of trying to do it all

[06:35] What children really need from mothers

[08:20] How attachment security shapes a child's future

[10:05] The role of instincts in mother-child bonding

[12:10] Why some mothers feel bored with their infants

[14:00] The link between postpartum depression and attachment

[15:45] How generational trauma affects mothering instincts

[17:30] The truth about institutional daycare

[19:15] The psychological impact of a mother’s absence

[21:00] Why maternal presence is irreplaceable in early years

[22:50] How career-driven mothers can prioritize attachment

[24:30] The long-term effects of early separation from mothers

[26:15] Understanding the biological need for maternal care

[28:00] How modern society devalues caretaking

[29:45] Why fathers play a different role

[31:30] The reality of work-life balance in early motherhood

[33:20] How freedom and responsibility shape maternal choices

[35:00] The impact of career ambition on mother-child bonding

[36:45] Why true fulfillment comes from prioritizing relationships

[38:30] How modern parenting expectations have changed

[40:15] The importance of choosing motherhood with intention

[42:00] Why achievement and career success feel empty

[43:45] How to redefine personal success as a mother

[45:30] Why self-care needs to be balanced with presence

[47:15] The difference between necessary breaks and detachment

[49:00] How babies experience absence, no matter the reason

[50:45] Why the first 3 years set the foundation for life

[52:30] The importance of legacy and emotional health

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Learn more about Erica’s work on her website and Instagram.

Resources Mentioned:

Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters by Erica Komisar | Book or Audiobook

Chicken Little the Sky Isn't Falling: Raising Resilient Adolescents in the New Age of Anxiety by Erica Komisar | Book or Audiobook

Episode 60 of Reclamation Radio: Choosing Motherhood | Spotify or Apple

Exhale Masterclass with Kelly Brogan | Website

Instagram: @kellybroganmd

Website: kellybroganmd.com

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