Why do I wish people could read my mind?

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton offers ways to increase our resilience and tolerance to life’s stressors, why it’s important to speak up in therapy, and why we can sometimes wish our therapist could read our mind. She then discusses the reasons we can struggle to talk about our issues in therapy without feeling full of shame about it.

Ask Kati Anything ep. 250 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT

Audience questions: 1. Can you provide any tips or techniques to increase resiliency and tolerance to life's stressors? 00:58

2. Is getting a therapy appointment about once a month (due to extremely limited availability at college clinics) worth it even if it doesn’t feel like it’s helping? What can you do when your insurance deductible is really high and you’re a college student working multiple jobs just to make rent, food, etc? Especially when parents won’t help pay. I’ve tried medication but nothing feels like it’s working. Hope this gets answered because I feel like there are lots of people in this situation. 06:15

3. You often say that if something your therapist says or does bothers you or triggers you, you should bring it up and talk about it with your therapist. But I often feel like if I say something to them and they stop doing/saying whatever it is, then I'm not really learning how to deal with similar situations in the real world. Realistically, I can't go around telling the world to not say or act a certain way so I feel reluctant to say anything when it happens in the therapy room. But then I spiral out and get frustrated with myself for even being bothered by something that I clearly understand was not done intentionally. I also don't want to make my therapist feel... 10:56

4. I’m not sure if I’m the only one who does this, but I’ve noticed that in therapy I often expect my therapist to be able to read my mind. But I know this is impossible and unfair to her. For example, I told her the other day that I had written down some thoughts I had after the previous session and I told her I wasn’t sure if I should read them to her or not. Her response was “It’s up to you.” By her saying it was up to me, I know she was just respecting whichever decision I made and she didn’t want to force me to read it if I didn’t want to. But for some reason I just assumed she could read my mind so when she replied in a respectfully neutral way, I felt a bit let down and I thought to myself “okay but do you REALLY want to know my thoughts?” In that moment I really wanted HER to WANT me to read them to her. Like I suppose in a validation type of way I wanted to feel as if she really WANTED to know my thoughts and inner experience.. to feel like she really cares and is invested in me and my experience. Obviously I know it’s unfair to expect her to have read my mind though...I do this quite often. And I end up feeling frustrated and disappointed and let down. Why do I do this? 24:28

5. How can I learn to manage the shame I feel talking about my 'issues' in therapy? I have CPTSD and I intellectually know shame is a large part of that, but that doesn't stop me feeling overwhelmed by shame having discussed things with my therapist. I go for days thinking that she must be disgusted by me and cannot possibly want me as a client ... and I feel too ashamed to talk about this shame! 31:56 PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton

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