122: Family gatherings without the fireworks, and staying connected with your young teen

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Connection is at the root of human happiness, but staying connected through the turbulent teens and keeping family traditions and gatherings positive can be a challenge.

In this episode we help Helen with her question about how to stay connected with her daughter who's on the brink of becoming a teenager.

We also talk about hosting gatherings, drawing on advice from the expert, Priya Parker. How to put nutrients back into our family earth; avoid straying into topics that cause problems, move away from stale family tropes, and create an atmosphere that sets us up for positive connection.

Help for Helen: 

• Incorporate traditions or rituals that mark transitions and changes in your relationship with your teenagers, like a special one-on-one trip or creating a photo book.
• Communicate openly about the changing nature of your relationship with teenagers and reassure them that you are still a safe space for them to share their thoughts and feelings.
• Be open and clear about how they can tell you anything and you will not tell a soul, to encourage trust and a sense that they can open up to you.

Episode 2 covers how to stay connected
Episode 3 how to talk so they’ll listen
Episode 13 is great ways to spend time with your teen
Episode 41 covers conflict resolution

Family parties without the fireworks:

Episode 70: Giving presents. Is your teenager ungrateful?
Episode 69: Festivities or fights?

1. Focus on being proactive and setting the tone for gatherings by approaching them with positivity and an intention to connect, rather than just trying to get through them.
2. Be intentional about creating spaces and activities that bring your family together, such as  having everyone bring a game to play.
3. Identify and highlight the unique quirks or interests of family members to spark engaging conversations and connect on a more personal level.
4. Deputize unexpected guests or assign roles to family members to mix up the group dynamics and prevent the same people from dominating conversations.
5. Channel any argumentative or competitive energy into structured activities or games that allow for healthy expression and bonding.
6. Seed new conversation topics that encourage sharing stories and personal experiences rather than just opinions, such as asking about the best new food tried or songs discovered.

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I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
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Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk