In this podcast, Catholic psychologist Dr. Peter Martin discusses narcissism with a live audience. They explore treating narcissism, distinguishing boldness from narcissism, relating to a narcissistic spouse, managing narcissistic family members who don’t believe in God, the importance of feeling cherished by God, the relationship between narcissism and spiritual abuse, difficulties of receiving God's love for narcissistic individuals, attachment styles associated with narcissism, impact of childhood experiences of narcissism in adulthood, effects of narcissistic parenting on children's separation and individuation, and managing a contentious co-parenting relationship with a narcissistic ex-spouse.
Children of narcissistic parents often struggle with insecure attachment and difficulties in relationships.
Co-dependency is common in relationships between narcissistic parents and their children, leading to boundary issues and a lack of identity development.
Seeking professional guidance and support from trusted mentors or family members is crucial in addressing the effects of narcissism and navigating co-parenting relationships with a narcissistic ex-spouse.
Deep dives
The Impact of Narcissism on Attachment in Children and Adults
Children of narcissistic parents often struggle with insecure attachment due to boundary issues and a lack of emotional support. In adulthood, they may continue to experience difficulties with intimacy and trust in relationships.
Co-dependency in Relationships with Narcissistic Parents
Co-dependency is often present in relationships between narcissistic parents and their children. The child may feel a need to fulfill the parent's needs and may struggle to establish healthy boundaries or develop their own sense of identity.
Supporting Children with Narcissistic Parents
Children with narcissistic parents may benefit from the support of trusted mentors or family members who can provide a secure attachment and emotional guidance. Professional help and counseling can also be valuable in navigating the complexities of co-parenting and addressing the effects of narcissism.
Navigating Co-Parenting with a Narcissistic Ex-Spouse
Co-parenting with a narcissistic ex-spouse can be challenging. It is important to seek professional guidance and maintain focus on providing a stable and loving environment for the children. Avoiding attempts to undermine or involve the children in conflicts can help protect their emotional well-being.
Understanding trauma in a relationship
Trauma in a marriage can lead to unique challenges and emotional responses for both spouses. The presence of trauma can cause one spouse to exhibit borderline tendencies while the other may display narcissistic behaviors. It is essential to recognize the deep wounds resulting from the trauma and respond with curiosity and calmness. Seeking professional help or involving a third party can aid in navigating through the complexities of the situation.
Asserting boundaries with a narcissistic person
When dealing with a narcissistic individual, setting healthy boundaries is crucial. Understanding the motivations and underlying fear behind their need for control is important. It is essential to avoid extreme responses, such as becoming subjugated or overly aggressive. The key is assertiveness, where both parties are treated as equals, and each person's voice and concerns are acknowledged. Seeking external support from mentors or loved ones can be helpful during this process.
In this episode, Catholic psychologist Peter Martin and I discuss narcissism with a live audience, covering the following questions: 1) What are two primary clinical approaches to treating individuals with narcissism; 2) How do we distinguish between boldness and narcissism; 3) How does one relate with a narcissistic spouse; 4) How do we work with narcissistic family members who don’t believe in God; 5) The importance of feeling cherished and treasured by God; 6) The relationship between narcissism and spiritual abuse in religious communities and organizations; 7) What makes it difficult for a person with narcissism to receive the love of God; 8) what are the different attachment styles associated with overt and covert narcissism; 9) How do children’s experiences of narcissism impact them in adulthood; 10) What are the effects of narcissistic parenting on children’s separation and individuation; and 11) How does one manage a contentious co-parenting relationship with an ex-spouse who is narcissistic?
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