Ordinary Unhappiness 127: Projective Identification Part I feat. Brian Ngo-Smith
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Dec 27, 2025 
In a thought-provoking discussion, Brian Ngo-Smith, a psychoanalyst and clinical social worker, delves into the complex concept of projective identification. He explores its roots in infant development and its impact on adult relationships, challenging the boundaries between self and other. The conversation navigates the historical tension between Freud and Klein, and offers practical examples from therapy and personal relationships. By unpacking archaic defense mechanisms, Brian reveals how projections can shape emotional dynamics in various facets of life.
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Possession-Like Feelings
- Projective identification feels like being invaded or taken over, not just a metaphorical headache.
- It challenges modern ideas of clear emotional boundaries and unconscious consent.
Not Just Projection Plus Identification
- Projective identification combines projection (expelling) and identification (taking on) but is more than their sum.
- It exposes how the sense of inside versus outside is constructed and fragile.
Boundary Formation Debate
- Freud saw projection as a defense that presupposes inside/outside distinction, Klein argued projection can constitute that distinction.
- The debate shows self–other boundaries emerge, not given.
