Life Coaching with Christine Hassler 13: Getting Unstuck After a Break-up
Absolute certainty is rare. If you are waiting to be absolutely certain before making a decision, you may find yourself spinning in confusion.
Today’s session is with Marie, who believes she is ready to make big changes in her life, but fear and unresolved issues from a recent break-up are keeping her from taking the first step. She is distracting herself by considering multiple changes at once and it’s depleting her energy.
When we fear something we create roadblocks for ourselves. Roadblocks can be waiting for certainty, attempting to move forward before dealing with issues from the past and talking a lot about what we want, but not taking the first steps to get to it.
Marie realizes she may be lingering on open issues from a past relationship. She needs closure before she is able to move forward, but she’s unsure of how to get past the breakup. We work through how Marie can use her inner wisdom to remove the residue from the past and pursue her career dreams with a clear mind.
When we accept change and allow it to happen, we discover our challenges are leading us somewhere.
Read the emotional and mental chapters of the treatment plan in my book, Expectation Hangover, to gain a deeper understanding on grieving and closure.
If you want to get unstuck join me on January 8th - 10th for my “for women only” Winter Retreat.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Are you waiting to do something until you are completely sure?
Are you attempting to make too many decisions at once and not making progress on any of them?
Are you a creative person who feels the need to do everything all at once?
Are you still wanting something from a previous relationship and are unable to move on until you get it?
Marie’s Question:
Marie feels she is in a rut and wants to make a big move, including getting over her last relationship. She is a motivated person but has a fear of moving forward.
Marie’s Key Insights and Aha’s:
- She wants to feel certain about something before she moves forward
- She’s trying to do too many things at once
- She’s making a reactive choice and not a proactive one
- She needs other people’s opinions
- Listening to her intuition will help her move on
How to get over it and on with it:
- Clean up old residue first before moving forward
- Focus on one thing at a time
- Own the part you played in the relationship
- Listen to your intuition
Tools and Takeaways:
- Focus on the problem or the question you don’t want to deal with first
- A closure conversation or letter should include
- ○ What you learned
- ○ What you are grateful for
- ○ What you forgive the other person for
- ○ What you forgive yourself for
- ○ Acknowledge the other person
- ○ A thank you and a goodbye
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