Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel Esther Calling - He Doesn't Believe in Marriage, But I Can't Let Go of the Hope
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Oct 13, 2025 A woman grapples with unexpected grief after her sister's engagement, spotlighting her own struggles with partners who resist marriage. With Esther's guidance, she confronts deep-seated emotional wounds tied to family secrets and feelings of exclusion. They explore the impact of her mother's shame and the complexities of wanting both independence and recognition. As they unravel the meaning of commitment, the conversation reveals how authentic relationships can differ from traditional expectations while encouraging the caller to transform her burdens into pride.
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Pain After A Sister's Proposal
- The caller describes acute hurt after her younger sister's proposal despite an eight-year partner who refuses marriage.
- She links the pain to childhood wounds about being different and excluded due to having a different biological father.
Marriage Versus Family Secrets
- Esther reframes the marriage debate as deeper than ritual: it's about shame and secrecy rooted in family history.
- She says marriage sometimes covers up wounds but the caller's pain comes from secrecy, not the institution itself.
Childhood Secret And Silent Burden
- The caller recounts learning at seven that her biological father left and that the father who raised her had adopted her.
- She kept the discovery secret, writing it in a diary and only confronting her parents at 18.