Chloé Valdary, founder of The Theory of Enchantment and an expert in compassionate antiracism, delves into Stoic philosophy and its relevance in overcoming modern despair. She explains how embracing sadness, rather than avoiding it, is crucial for emotional resilience. Valdary introduces the concept of 'sympatheia,' highlighting our shared human experience through suffering. She discusses practical methods to process emotions, like journaling and using cultural stories, and emphasizes the importance of self-knowledge in fostering compassion for others.
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Control Your Response, Not Emotions
Stoicism teaches distinguishing what we can control from what we cannot control.
You cannot stop an emotion from arising, but you can control how you relate to it.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Origins Born From Post-Alexander Chaos
Stoicism emerged after Alexander the Great died to address widespread existential homelessness.
People lost rooted communities and Stoicism offered a way to respond to that chaos.
insights INSIGHT
Sympathia: Connection Through Shared Suffering
Sympathia means seeing out of your own experience to feel connected with others.
That connection lets suffering become a source of meaning rather than isolation.
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Chloé Valdary shares the ancient Stoic principle that can defeat modern despair.
It can be difficult to process sadness. People often try to numb it, avoid it, or deny that they’re even experiencing it, instead of better understanding and working through the emotion.
The Stoics offer a more head-on approach. This school of philosophy is often falsely associated with the suppression of emotions. But it’s more accurate to say that the Stoics were interested in how people can respond virtuously to life’s trials and tragedies. The answer, according to general Stoic thought, is that we shouldn’t deny emotions or the things that make us feel pain or sadness, but rather strive to accept that which we cannot control and do our best to process our emotions in a way that puts us on a productive path forward.
As Chloé Valdary, @cvaldary — an American writer and founder of the conflict-resolution program Theory of Enchantment — explains in this Big Think interview, Stoicism not only can help us work through sadness as individuals, but it can also teach us to recognize the many forms that suffering can take in others.
0:00 Transcending suffering
1:08 The origin of Stoic philosophy
2:40 How to practice ‘sympatheia’
4:48 Managing sadness with Stoicism
5:57 Developing inner strength: Know yourself, know others
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About Chloé Valdary:
After spending a year as a Bartley fellow at the Wall Street Journal, Chloé Valdary developed The Theory of Enchantment, an innovative framework for compassionate antiracism that combines social emotional learning (SEL), character development, and interpersonal growth as tools for leadership development in the boardroom and beyond.
Chloé has trained around the world, including in South Africa, The Netherlands, Germany, and Israel. Her clients have included high school and college students, government agencies, business teams, + many more.
She has also lectured in universities across America, including Harvard and Georgetown. Her work has been covered in Psychology Today Magazine and her writings have appeared in the New York Times and the Wall St Journal.
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