578 The High Price of Codependency (For Over-Givers and Over-Doers)
Jan 23, 2024
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Explore the concept of high-functioning codependency and its impact on individuals and relationships. Learn about the cost of codependency, including loss of identity and burnout. Discover the relief of finding a trustworthy and capable partner after years of independence.
High functioning codependency can lead to exhaustion, strained relationships, and a loss of personal identity.
High functioning codependency can unintentionally turn others into under-functioners, leading to a loss of sovereignty and potential frustration in relationships.
Deep dives
The Definition of High Functioning Codependency
High functioning codependency refers to being overly invested in the feelings, outcomes, relationships, and circumstances of others to the detriment of one's internal peace, financial well-being, and physical or spiritual well-being. The term 'high functioning' is added to highlight the fact that many individuals who exhibit codependent behavior may appear to be successful or in control, making it hard to identify the issue.
The Cost of High Functioning Codependency
Being a high functioning codependent comes at a cost. It can lead to exhaustion, strained relationships, and feeling underappreciated. The need to control outcomes for others and the constant over-giving and over-functioning can also result in a loss of personal identity, a difficulty in being vulnerable, and a lack of spontaneity. Additionally, high functioning codependency can lead to burnout and hinder one's ability to rest.
The Impact on Others
High functioning codependency can also have an impact on the people around the codependent individual. Their over-functioning and over-giving behavior can unintentionally turn others into under-functioners, as they become reliant on the codependent person. This can lead to a loss of sovereignty, autonomy, and potential frustration in relationships. It's important to recognize the negative consequences and work towards healthier patterns of behavior and mutual care.
Are you endlessly giving and doing for all the people all the time?
Do people come to you when they need something because they know you’ll get it done, no matter what?
If you are nodding your head, you might just be a high-functioning codependent, and this episode is for you.
I am covering what high-functioning codependency is, the considerable cost of being a high-functioning codependent (on you, your relationships, and others), and sharing my own experiences with these disordered relational behaviors– both personally and professionally.