If You Beat Yourself Up After Failure, This Will Change Everything | Lewis Howes

16 snips

Nov 3, 2025

Lewis Howes opens up about the relentless inner critic that plagued him after failures. He emphasizes the power of shifting from 'I can't' to 'I'm learning to,' using his own struggles with Spanish as a reflection of growth. Drawing parallels between basketball and entrepreneurship, he contrasts unhealthy hustle culture with the importance of consistent, disciplined efforts. Listeners are encouraged to adopt one non-negotiable habit and to approach challenges with self-compassion, ultimately fostering sustainable success.

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ADVICE

Use "I'm Learning To" Instead Of "I Can't"

Replace "I can't" with "I'm learning to" and invest time daily in improvement.
Frame struggles as progress by saying you're learning and enjoying the process when it's hard.

ADVICE

Turn Failures Into Immediate Lessons

After failure, stop self-criticism and extract one clear lesson to apply immediately.
Say "it's okay," identify the lesson, and implement it the same day.

ANECDOTE

Hustle Kept Him On The Court

Lewis describes hustling for loose basketballs and diving to keep plays alive.
Coaches kept him on the court because of his hustle, not just talent.

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Check out the full episode: https://greatness.lnk.to/1842

"Motivation is a feeling, but discipline is a choice. We are what we repeatedly do." - Lewis Howes

Lewis reveals the brutal inner voice that haunted him for years—the one that called him an idiot after every mistake, that told him he wasn't good enough, that kept him stuck in cycles of self-destruction. He shares how he spent two decades struggling to learn Spanish, constantly telling himself "I can't do this" until he discovered a simple phrase that changed everything: "I'm learning to." It sounds almost too simple, but that shift from self-criticism to self-compassion became the foundation for everything else. He talks about his basketball days, diving after loose balls, and how coaches kept him on the court not because he was the most talented, but because he hustled in the moments that mattered. That same mentality carried into his entrepreneurial journey—until it nearly destroyed him.

When Lewis finally started making money after being broke on his sister's couch, he went all-in on the hustle-culture mentality. He worked 24/7, gained weight, ate garbage, stopped sleeping, and burned himself completely out. Thirteen years and almost 2,000 podcast episodes later, he's learned the truth: real hustle isn't about grinding yourself into the ground—it's about showing up consistently when no one's watching. He breaks down why discipline beats motivation every time, how to pick one non-negotiable habit that aligns with your actual vision (not someone else's), and the morning question that helps him face his fears instead of running from them. If you've been trapped between beating yourself up for not being perfect and burning out trying to prove you're enough, this is the reset you need.

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