Meshai and Fin answer listener questions, discussing relationship coaching, trauma therapy, and sex therapy. They share personal stories and advocate for embracing authenticity in diverse relationship practices. Topics include balancing personal desires in relationships, navigating relationship compatibility, and mono-poly relationships.
Balancing personal desires with partner boundaries is vital in relationships.
Communication and understanding are crucial in mono-poly dynamics for a healthy relationship.
Taking things slowly and acknowledging individual growth is key in exploring new relationship dynamics like polyamory.
Deep dives
Honoring Personal Desires While Respecting Partner's Boundaries
Navigating personal desires while respecting partner's boundaries can be challenging. Finding a balance between pursuing individual desires and honoring relationship agreements is crucial. It's essential to communicate openly and establish boundaries that serve both individuals without sacrificing personal needs. The key lies in understanding how much one is willing to compromise without losing sight of personal values and happiness.
Navigating Mono-Poly Dynamics in Relationships
In mono-poly dynamics, where one partner is monogamous and the other polyamorous, communication and understanding are vital. Both partners need to co-create a relationship dynamic that supports and respects individual needs. It's essential to maintain open dialogue, set clear boundaries, and adapt to changing desires and capacities. The process involves embracing the reality that relationships evolve, and both partners may need to redefine agreements over time.
Going Slow and Allowing Space for Different Paces
When exploring new relationship dynamics like polyamory, taking things slowly is crucial. Each person may have a different comfort level and pace, requiring patience and understanding. Giving room for individual growth and adaptation allows both partners to navigate challenges effectively. It's essential to acknowledge and respect each other's unique journey, even if they diverge, to ensure a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
Differentiation of Self and Grief in Relationships
Differentiation of self in relationships involves understanding personal identity separate from the partnership. This process often leads to grief as individuals confront lost expectations and redefine their roles. Embracing self-discovery and growth can lead to deeper connection within the relationship. With mutual support and communication, partners can navigate the complexities of differentiation and grief to strengthen their bond.
Boundary Work as Grief Work
Engaging in boundary work within relationships often involves navigating grief. Setting boundaries requires individuals to mourn the loss of previous dynamics for self-preservation. Recognizing boundary work as a form of grief can help individuals understand the emotional challenges and transformations that come with establishing healthy boundaries and personal limits.
Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month!
Today's questions are about advice for a couple who is new to non-monogamy and they're in a mono/poly dynamic AND how do we meet our partners desires without giving up who we are if the two are not fully aligned.
We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back!
Meshai is relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. She believes in the power of living as one’s authentic self, and the freedom that comes from changing perspectives. She loves putting the puzzle pieces of a couple's sexual energy together and aiding them in positive and explorative movement.
Her coaching work implements creative synergy, openness, self-expression, and the confrontation of challenges through self-determination. She helps individuals from diverse populations move forward with their goals while being fully aware that trauma can play on the whole person.
Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy.
You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I am also working towards completing a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute and will be finished in late spring 2024.