What is a Good Life?

What is a Good Life? #87 - Seeing Yourself In The Other with Dr. Niobe Way

Sep 10, 2024

Dr. Niobe Way, a Professor of Developmental Psychology at NYU and founder of the Project for the Advancement of Our Common Humanity, dives deep into what shapes our humanity. She discusses the clash between cultural norms and our true nature, advocating for active listening and storytelling as tools for connection. Niobe shares her insights on the complexities of adolescent friendships and the importance of recognizing diverse narratives. She emphasizes how meaningful conversations can combat isolation and enhance emotional intelligence, particularly among boys today.

01:05:01

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Niobe Way

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Quick takeaways

Dr. Niobe Way emphasizes the importance of understanding the cultural contexts that shape our identities and notions of humanity.

The podcast highlights the detrimental effects of disengagement within society, underscoring the critical role of active listening in fostering connections.

Dr. Way advocates for cultivating interpersonal curiosity as a means to break down barriers and enhance relationships across diverse backgrounds.

Deep dives

Exploration of Humanity and Cultural Context

The conversation delves into the fundamental question of what it means to be human, emphasizing how our cultural backdrop influences our understanding of humanity. Dr. Niyobi Wei highlights the significance of exploring both the natural state of being and the cultural beliefs that shape our identities. She critiques prevailing ideologies, such as patriarchy and capitalism, and argues that they can create conflicts with our intrinsic nature. This clash is examined particularly in the context of boys' social and emotional development, pointing to the limitations imposed by societal expectations.

Intro

3min

Exploring Human Nature and Cultural Influences

3min

Navigating Identity and Connection

9min

Rethinking Intimacy and Friendship

12min

Navigating Cultural Diversity and Homogeneity

4min

The Power of Meaningful Conversations

31min

The Power of Connection

3min

On the 87th episode of the What is a Good Life? podcast, I am delighted to welcome our guest, Dr. Niobe Way. Niobe is Professor of Developmental Psychology at NYU, founder of the Project for the Advancement of Our Common Humanity (PACH; pach.org), and the Principal Investigator of the Listening Project, which fosters curiosity and connection in schools across New York City. Niobe has served as President of the Society for Research on Adolescence (SRA), holds a B.A. from U.C. Berkeley, a doctorate from the Graduate School of Education at Harvard University, and was a postdoctoral fellow at the National Institute of Mental Health at Yale University.

With nearly 40 years of experience researching adolescent social and emotional development, Niobe has authored or co-authored over 100 peer-reviewed articles. She is the author of Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection and her latest book, Rebels with a Cause: Reimagining Boys, Ourselves, and Our Culture.

In this illuminating conversation, Niobe explores what it means to be human and how this is shaped by cultural context, the clash between our nature and culture, and the importance of listening to stories as well as examining data. She highlights the dangers of living in a culture that no longer listens and how much of what is needed for greater connection already exists within us.

If your relationships lack the depth and connection you long for, or if you are struggling to cultivate greater intimacy and curiosity in your life, Niobe offers a wealth of insights, anecdotes, and even exercises for you to consider and practise to reveal your innate capacities for connection.

Subscribe for weekly episodes, every Tuesday, and check out my YouTube channel (link below) for full interviews and clips.

For further content and information check out the following:

Niobe's book: https://www.brilliant-books.net/book/9780593184264
Niobe's website: https://www.niobe-way.com/
Niobe's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/niobe-way-75270534/

Photo credit: Daniel Root

- For the podcast's YouTube page: https://www.youtube.com/@whatisagoodlife/videos
- My newsletter: https://www.whatisagood.life/
- My LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-mccartney-14b0161b4/

Contact me at mark@whatisagood.life if you'd like to further explore your own lines of self-inquiry or create experiences that lead to more connecting and genuine conversations amongst groups of people or you'd like to join my weekly silent conversation groups.

00:00 Introduction
03:00 What it means to be human

06:30 Crossing the lines

11:57 What different groups can teach us about ourselves

15:10 Privileging the hard over the soft

20:55 Interpersonal curiosity

24:00 Thin and thick stories

27:00 Breaking stereotypes through stories

32:30 Living in a culture that no longer listens

40:00 Innate intelligence we have forgotten

42:30 The root of our suffering and illness

48:05 The fear of not being seen as we see ourselves

53:17 The natural skills within us to solve our problems

1:01:42 What is a good life for Niobe?

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