Turning Towards Life - a Thirdspace podcast

386: Children Learn What They Live

Mar 2, 2025

Explore how our childhood shapes our present selves in this engaging discussion. The hosts delve into the unconscious influences of parenting, revealing how past behaviors affect emotional health and relationships. They champion the understanding of inner patterns and the importance of self-reflection. Navigating power dynamics with compassion is also highlighted, emphasizing the need for nurturing internal dialogue. This insightful conversation invites listeners to reflect on their own experiences and foster personal growth.

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INSIGHT

Unconscious Patterns

Lizzie reflects on the poem, noting how childhood experiences shape our reactions and behaviors.
She highlights the value of uncovering unconscious patterns to understand their impact.

INSIGHT

The Ripple Effect

We are shaped by past generations and current relationships.
Self-inquiry reveals how our actions, influenced by this history, shape those around us.

ANECDOTE

Grumpy's Criticism

Lizzie Winn's grandfather, "Grumpy," questioned her about the one point she missed on a spelling test.
This instilled a focus on shortcomings rather than achievements, a pattern she now consciously works to undo.

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How can we start to become more aware of the ways we conduct ourselves in our lives, especially the way we conduct ourselves towards others? At a time when we are being encouraged to cheapen our relationships with one another, or to wield power over one another, can we catch on more sensitively to the ways we carry our shame, our wish to dominate, our fear, and how the protective parts of us respond to that in the way we bring ourselves to others? Can we nurture in us that which brings our fullest qualities forward, and which evokes them in others? And how do we attend to the patterns over time in us that we're expressing - patterns which may have been born in our own childhood or in the generations before us - and intervene thoughtfully and with integrity so we can more and more be the ones we are here to be?

This week's Turning Towards Life is hosted, as always, by Lizzie Winn and Justin Wise of Thirdspace.

Episode Overview
00:00 Introduction to Turning Towards Life
03:00 Exploring the Source: Children Learn What They Live
05:46 The Impact of Parenting on Self-Perception
09:10 Understanding Inner Patterns and Their Origins
11:54 The Role of Consciousness and Observation
14:58 Navigating Power Dynamics in Relationships
18:11 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Healing
21:03 Compassion and Understanding
24:12 The Importance of Reflection and Choice
26:48 Closing Thoughts and Future Conversations

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Turning Towards Life, a week-by-week conversation inviting us deeply into our lives, is a live 30 minute conversation hosted by Justin Wise and Lizzie Winn of Thirdspace. Find us on FaceBook to watch live and join in the lively conversation on this episode. You can find videos of every episode, and more about the project on the Turning Towards Life website, and you can also watch and listen on Instagram, YouTube, and as a podcast on Apple, Google, Amazon Music and Spotify.

Here's our source for this week:

Children Learn What They Live

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.

Dorothy Law Nolte, 1954
Family Column for the Torrance Herald newspaper

Photo by Piron Guillaume on Unsplash