A couple shares their transformative journey into non-monogamy after 18 years of marriage, revealing the challenges they faced and the personal growth they experienced. They reflect on their conservative upbringing and the importance of community support. The discussion touches on managing emotional dynamics, communication, and the evolving nature of relationships. Humorous anecdotes highlight the balancing act of personal truths and societal pressures, ultimately emphasizing the value of authentic connections and internal validation.
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Quick takeaways
Brew and Mark illustrate how understanding personal desires and definitions of a fulfilling relationship can challenge traditional norms around monogamy.
The importance of community support is highlighted as a vital resource in navigating and empowering non-monogamous relationships.
Brew's experiences with complex PTSD emphasize the necessity of communication and self-awareness in building trust within a non-monogamous framework.
Deep dives
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Non-Monogamous Exploration
The podcast features an episode from 'Normalizing Non-Monogamy,' focusing on the journey of Brew and Mark, a couple in their mid-30s. Having been together for over 18 years, they share their experiences of slowly and intentionally exploring non-monogamy. Their conversation highlights the challenges of leaving behind established narratives rooted in their upbringing in the evangelical church while aiming to build a stronger, more authentic relationship. This exploration serves as a platform for them to re-evaluate their desires and redefine what a successful and fulfilling relationship looks like outside traditional norms.
The Importance of Community
Brew and Mark emphasize the value of community support in their non-monogamous journey. They stress that seeking a supportive network can significantly enhance the experience, making it feel less isolating and more empowering. Joining groups, attending workshops, or connecting with others who share similar values allows individuals to navigate their unique paths in non-monogamy. This community provides a space for shared experiences and encouragement, which is essential in a landscape that can often feel overwhelming and confusing.
Navigating Personal Trauma
Brew opens up about her experiences with complex PTSD stemming from childhood trauma, revealing how it impacts her relationship with Mark. The couple discusses how unresolved trauma can lead to challenges in processing emotions and building trust in a non-monogamous context. They emphasize the critical work of communication and self-awareness in managing triggers while exploring feelings about their relationship. This dialogue fosters an understanding that healing from trauma is an ongoing process, requiring both partners to actively participate in creating a safe space for vulnerability.
Finding Balance in Relationships
The theme of balance recurs throughout Brew and Mark's conversation as they navigate the complexities of non-monogamy. They recognize the need for both partners to feel comfortable and safe, establishing healthy boundaries while exploring new dynamics. The couple identifies their roles in the relationship, where Brew often acts as the emotional check while Mark leans into excitement for new experiences. This balance, although not always easy to maintain, fosters growth and understanding, allowing them to address insecurities and nurture a loving partnership.
For this week's episode, the Multiamory crew is taking a much-needed break, and featuring episode 308 of Normalizing Non-Monogamy: Bru + Mark! Hosts Emma and Fin talk with Bru and Mark about their guests' relatively recent journey of opening up their long partnership.
For Emma and Fin, life is all about seeking out adventure, embracing the chaos, and meeting amazing people along the way. They are in their mid thirties, met in seventh grade, and have been together since their freshman year of college. A year or so into their relationship it was obvious that exploring everything life had to offer was part of who they were as individuals, and as a team. They were very young at the time and neither had really experienced the world of dating, so they created a way to explore aspects of the dating world without ending their relationship, through non-monogamy. Fast forward about 11 years and they decided to start a weekly podcast called Normalizing Non-Monogamy in 2018. They absolutely love meeting new people and hearing their stories and through this podcast they get to interview people from all over the world who are exploring non-monogamy on their own terms. The hope is that if they can get enough of those stories out into the world that it will provide a resource for anyone who is considering non-monogamy. They also want to show that non-monogamy is more common than most people think and that it can be done in an ethical and consensual way. Overall, the mission is to inspire people to embrace their true selves so that, together, we can open minds and live authentically without shame.
Find more about them and Normalizing Non-Monogamy at https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/!
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Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand. Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com.
