Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens Eps 423: Understanding and processing our teens emotions with Alyssa Campbell
Alyssa Campbell is back this week!
I am thrilled to have Alyssa here to chat about her new book, “Little People, Big Emotions” and her Collaborative Emotion Processing method. Alyssa explains what “safe to feel” means, how we can figure out which emotions in our kids make us uncomfortable & why, and explains that our adolescents have completely different tools & experiences than we did. I ask Alyssa how considering long-term goals for our teens can help our relationship, and we dig into why having a toolbox to get through the tough times is more important than just “being happy.” We discuss how important failure is for growth, enabling vs. empowering, and when we can reduce task demand when our teens are overwhelmed. Alyssa and I get into enabling versus collaborating, interdependence, and the importance of daily self-care. As we wrap up, I ask for tips for parents who are practicing their own emotional safety, keeping ownership over our own emotions, and normalizing the self-regulation journey.
Takeaways from the show
- Emotional safety in your relationship with your teen
- Providing a safe space for children to express themselves without fear, judgment, or rejection
- Your adolescents have completely different experiences than you did
- Defining your long-term goals for your teen (is happiness the goal, or is having tools for hard times more important)?
- Keeping long-term goals top of mind
- Rescuing our kids versus letting them fail
- Age bias, expectations, and “you should know better”
- Reducing task demands when adolescents are overwhelmed
- Enabling versus collaborating; interdependence
- Daily, consistent self-care adds up
- Being mad, frustrated, and/or scared is not dysregulation
- Taking ownership of our own emotions
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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