Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Bullies, Brains, and Bystanders: The Truth Every Parent Must Hear [with Prof. Donna Cross Part 1]
Bullying doesn’t just hurt feelings — it can rewire a child’s brain. In this powerful conversation for No Bullying Week, I speak with Professor Donna Cross, one of Australia’s leading bullying experts, about the profound short- and long-term impacts of bullying, why some children are targeted, and the surprising protective factors that can help shield kids from harm. You’ll learn what’s really going on in the minds of both bullies and their targets — and how parents can build a network of support that keeps kids safer at school and online.
KEY POINTS
- Bullying can trigger long-term neurological and genetic changes through repeated stress responses.
- Effects can be similar to those seen in children experiencing abuse.
- High-risk factors for being bullied include loneliness, visible differences, lack of supportive bystanders, and not being well known or liked by teachers.
- Protective factors include multiple friendship groups, strong peer relationships, a culture of kindness, and supportive school environments.
- Social and physical environments — from seating arrangements to equipment availability — can influence bullying dynamics.
- Parents can play a key role by facilitating diverse friendship opportunities and monitoring online activity.
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
"Probably the most protective factor is your child’s relationships with other young people — especially having multiple friendship groups." – Professor Donna Cross
RESOURCES
- Professor Donna Cross’s research and publications
- Happy Families resources on bullying prevention and response
- When Your Child is Bullied: A Calm, Practical Guide for Parents [HF Article]
- Rebecca Sparrow (Australia's "Friendship Whisperer") - resources for parents and kids to help build, repair, and strengthen friendships.
- Friendship resources for schools and educators from Rebecca Sparrow.
- No Bullying Week: "Be Bold. Be Kind. Speak Up."
- Kid's Helpline for Bullying
- Spotlight on cyberbullying - a resource for schools
- The eSafety Commissioner's Guide to Cyberbullying
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
- Help your child build multiple, diverse friendship groups.
- Encourage empathy and kindness at home and in school conversations.
- Partner with your child’s school to promote a positive social environment.
- Teach your child how to respond calmly to provocation.
- Monitor and guide your child’s online interactions to reduce cyberbullying risk.
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