10% Happier with Dan Harris How To Handle 4 AM Worry Spirals | Bart van Melik
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Jan 25, 2026 
Bart van Melik, a Dharma teacher and guiding teacher at NYC’s Community Meditation Center who calls himself a 'worry warrior.' He shares practical tools for when the mind spirals at 4 AM. Short practices like pausing, asking "what is this?", and saying "this wants to be seen right now." He also stresses the power of kindness, investigating aversion, and leaning on community.
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Name The Worry To Create Space
- Pause and address the worry directly with a phrase like "Here you are again" to create immediate space from the thought.
- Say "This wants to be seen right now" to allow the worry without needing to solve it and notice bodily sensations.
Switch Tools And Soften With Kindness
- Try different tools: use mindful breathing or ask, "What would kindness do right now?" to shift tone toward self-compassion.
- If those fail, investigate your aversion to the feeling instead of trying to quickly eliminate it.
Aversion Fuels The Worry Cycle
- Notice the deeper desire driving reactive strategies: we often want the bad feeling to disappear rather than meet it.
- Sensing the aversion to worrying can itself soften and change the experience.