Ashley Walters (Top Boy): "Me & Kano Didn't Have The Greatest Time!". The Unheard TRUTH About Top Boy, Career Rejection & Personal Grief!
Sep 14, 2023
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Ashley Walters, rapper and actor, talks about his journey from So Solid Crew to Top Boy, his relationship with his father, attending therapy, and the lessons he learned from his dying father. He discusses his struggles with anger and not feeling good enough, as well as his experience of prison and his battle with depression during the Coronavirus pandemic.
Understanding one's early context is crucial in shaping a person's mindset and identity.
The power of forgiveness and self-acceptance plays a significant role in personal growth and well-being.
Overcoming obstacles, staying humble, and building lasting relationships are essential in pursuing a career in the entertainment industry.
Deep dives
The Journey of Self-Reflection
In this podcast episode, Ashley reflects on his journey and the impact of his father's absence in his life. He discusses the trauma he experienced and how it influenced his mindset as a young man. Ashley opens up about his struggles with anger and his desire to hurt others as he was hurt. He shares the importance of understanding one's early context and the role it plays in shaping a person. Ashley emphasizes the significance of therapy and the process of self-reflection in understanding oneself.
The Influence of Ashley's Father
Ashley delves into his complicated relationship with his father, who was absent for most of his childhood due to being in and out of prison. He recalls the longing to have a father figure and the impact of his father's actions on their relationship. He opens up about the last encounter with his father before his death, highlighting the valuable lessons learned during that time. Ashley shares how the experience helped him understand his own identity and the importance of self-acceptance.
The Impact of the Pandemic and Self-Reflection
Ashley reveals the difficulties he faced during the pandemic-induced lockdown, particularly being stripped away from his work and daily routine. He shares the challenges of sitting with his own thoughts and confronting his flaws. Ashley discusses the importance of seeking external perspectives and not relying solely on the voice in his head. He reflects on the power of forgiveness, understanding that holding onto grudges only hurts oneself. Ashley acknowledges the need for continual personal growth and learning from past mistakes.
The Journey of Pursuing a Career in the Entertainment Industry
Ashley provides insights into his unique journey, including his experiences in music and acting at a young age. Despite facing rejection and being told he couldn't direct, Ashley talks about his determination to prove himself and his ability to overcome obstacles. He emphasizes the importance of staying humble, treating people well, and building lasting relationships. Ashley also discusses the challenges and sacrifices that come with pursuing a career in the entertainment industry.
The Struggle with Emotional Expression
The podcast episode explores the speaker's struggle with emotional expression and vulnerability in his relationship. He reflects on being cold as a husband and the challenges of opening up and sharing his feelings with his partner. The speaker discusses the discomfort he feels when his girlfriend wants to have deep conversations about emotions and how it triggers a defensive response in him. He questions whether this discomfort stems from a lack of learning or a defense mechanism. The speaker shares his journey towards becoming more open and learning to communicate better in therapy sessions with his partner.
The Impact of Absent Fatherhood and Regret
The speaker candidly discusses the consequences and regrets of his past struggles with absent fatherhood. He opens up about not being present for his older children during their formative years due to his own personal challenges and career pursuits. He expresses remorse for not giving them the attention and support they needed, resulting in a lack of trust and distance in their relationship. The speaker acknowledges the fear he carries regarding the generational cycle of distant fatherhood and expresses a desire to break that pattern with his own children. He reflects on the importance of telling his children that he loves them, something he wished his own father had done.
In this new episode Steven sits down with rapper and actor, Ashley Walters.
From Asher D to Top Boy, prison to fame, Ashley Walters refuses to be told what he can or can’t do.
Ashley first gained popular attention in 2001 as Asher D, a member of British Rap Group, ‘So Solid Crew’. Acting in TV shows since he was 10 years old, in 2004 Ashley broke into film with, ‘Bullet Boy’, for which he was named Best Newcomer at the British Independent Film Awards. This led to roles in major Hollywood blockbusters such as ‘Get Rich Or Die Tryin’. In 2011, Ashley starred as Dushane in the massively popular TV show, ‘Top Boy’.
In this conversation Ashley and Steven discuss topics, such as:
Attending therapy
His relationship with his father
His anger with the world as a teenager
His father’s time in prison
Looking for father figures and role models
Joining So Solid Crew for belonging
Being a people pleaser and not feeling good enough
His last encounter with his father
The lessons he learned from his dying father
Not grieving for his father
Being a perfectionist
Obsessing over the fact that he was going to die young
His experience of prison
Being constantly motivated
Having a strict upbringing
They key to his talent
Wanting to escape being himself
Being naturally shy
Using acting as a way to escape trauma
The tough life of acting
Turning adversity into motivation
Moving into being a director
Always needing the next challenge in his life
His depression during the Coronavirus pandemic
The importance of forgiveness
His relationship with his wife
Struggling with opening up with his emotions
Fatherhood
Not having the greatest relationship with some of his children
Top Boy
How the script for Top Boy got Ashley hooked
Why Channel 4 didn’t make a third season of Top Boy
Why Top Boy became the success it did
How he will push himself for an acting role
Filming the last season of Top Boy
His future
Top Boy opening the door for black British culture worldwide