Soft Skills Engineering Episode 483: My team hated me from day one and should I stack PTO before my resignation
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Oct 20, 2025 Explore the challenge of being disliked by your team from day one without any clear reason. Discover insights on handling ignored contributions while maintaining professional integrity. The hosts discuss the ethics of stacking PTO before resigning from one job to start another and the evolving norms around two-week notices. Learn how to navigate team dynamics, trust-building, and the importance of courtesy in professional transitions. Plus, hear cautionary tales of PTO misuse and its impact on relationships.
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Give New Teams Time And Seek Specific Feedback
- Wait before confronting a team about being disliked; give relationships time to form and reputations to build.
- Ask a trusted teammate or manager specific questions like "How do I earn their trust more?" to get actionable feedback.
Ignored Ideas Often Reflect Trust, Not Malice
- Teams often ignore new voices until trust is earned or context is built, not necessarily out of malice.
- Ideas can be subconsciously recycled and later recognized when repeated by someone with established credibility.
Set A Six‑Month Evaluation Window
- Give it about six months before deciding whether a team permanently sidelines you.
- If distrust persists after sustained effort, consider finding a different job to protect your performance and wellbeing.