235: De-escalating Challenging Behavior with Dayna Abraham
Oct 12, 2023
auto_awesome
Expert in de-escalating challenging behavior, Dayna Abraham, discusses how to approach challenging behaviors as clues of dysregulation. She emphasizes the importance of staying calm, using sensory anchors, and understanding that all behavior is communication. The podcast explores the power of staying calm, effective communication with children, and the impact of parenting beliefs on children's behavior.
Challenging behavior in children should be seen as a challenge for understanding, not as misbehavior.
To effectively deescalate challenging behavior, parents can use anchors and be mindful of non-verbal cues.
Deep dives
Understanding Challenging Behavior
Challenging behavior in children should be seen as a challenge for adults to understand and not as a misbehavior. It can manifest differently depending on the child and their unique needs and background. For some parents, it may be a struggle when a child ignores requests, while for others, aggressive behaviors like hitting or spitting may be more challenging. It is important to recognize that challenging behavior is not a reflection of being naughty, but rather a signal that something is challenging the child.
Deescalation Techniques for Challenging Behavior
In the midst of challenging behavior, it is crucial to deescalate the situation. Instead of attempting to teach or fix the behavior in that moment, parents should focus on minimizing damage and ensuring safety. Just as a bomb technician defuses a bomb with caution and minimal movement, parents need to deescalate themselves by staying calm, minimizing words and actions, and providing a calm presence for their child. It is essential to separate ourselves from the instinctual need to control the situation and instead prioritize connection and empathy with our child.
Strategies for Effective Deescalation
To effectively deescalate challenging behavior, parents can employ various strategies. Firstly, they can use an anchor, such as a sensory item or a specific phrase, to ground themselves and maintain a sense of calm in difficult moments. Secondly, parents should be mindful of their facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice, as these non-verbal cues influence the child's perception of the situation. Finally, parents must understand that deescalation requires practice and patience. Progress may not be immediate, but with consistency and self-compassion, parents can develop the skills to deescalate challenging behaviors with empathy and connection.
In this episode, I’m diving deep into the topic of de-escalating challenging behavior with Dayna Abraham of Calm the Chaos. As parents of neurodivergent kids, we often face moments when our children's behaviors become overwhelming and difficult to handle. This discussion will provide you with valuable insights and strategies for navigating these situations. We explore the concept that all behavior is communication and how to approach challenging behaviors as clues of dysregulation, rather than as negative actions. We also discuss the importance of staying calm, being mindful of our words and actions, and using tools like sensory anchors to ground ourselves in tough times. Plus, wel explore how our own behavior as parents can influence the outcome of these challenging moments. So get ready to gain some powerful tools for de-escalation and join us on this journey of understanding and embracing the beautifully complex adventure of parenting neurodivergent children.