Career Contessa Why We Click: How to Build Better Bonds at Work and in Life
Jan 27, 2026
Kate Murphy, journalist and bestselling author who studies human connection, explores interpersonal synchrony—how our brains and bodies subconsciously sync. She explains what synchrony is and why it shapes empathy and quick impressions. She talks about listening, leadership rhythms, hiring for fit, the limits of remote work, and simple shared activities that build trust.
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People Subconsciously Sync Within Seconds
- Interpersonal synchrony is our instinctive tendency to fall into rhythm with others within ~30 seconds.
- We mirror facial expressions, heart rate, respiration, and hormones to understand others and build empathy.
We Carry Personal Internal Rhythms
- Each person carries an internal 'symphony' of rhythms that determines their social tune.
- Matching those rhythms makes relationships feel effortless; mismatches create discomfort or discord.
Use Deep Listening To Build Rapport
- Listen deeply to sync with others and let brainwaves and moods transfer through understanding.
- Practice attentive listening to get on someone else's wavelength and build rapport.
