It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

Grief Over the Death of a High Conflict Loved One

Nov 23, 2023

This episode discusses coping with complex emotions when a high conflict loved one dies, including feeling a mix of grief and relief. They address being blamed by the deceased and the destabilization of a high conflict adult child when losing a parent. The podcast also delves into conflicts during probate and emphasizes setting reasonable goals and finding the positive in difficult people.

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Introduction

00:00 • 3min

Complex Emotions and Grief After the Death of a High Conflict Loved One

02:46 • 13min

Navigating Complex Emotions after the Death of a High-Conflict Loved One

15:44 • 2min

Dynamics and conflict in probate and estate process

17:29 • 3min

Focusing on Reasonable Goals and Finding the Positive

20:31 • 3min

In this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill and Megan provide guidance for coping with the complicated emotions that can arise when a high conflict person passes away. They cover the confusing mix of grief and relief family members often feel, how to handle being blamed after the loss, and the destabilization that can occur when a high conflict adult child loses a parent.

Questions we answer in this episode:

How do you handle the blend of grief and relief after the death of a high conflict loved one?
What if you were the target of blame by the deceased?
Why do high conflict people often lash out more after losing a stabilizing parent?
How can probate turn siblings against each other?

Key Takeaways:

It's normal to feel both grief and relief when a high conflict person dies. Don't judge yourself.
Being the target of blame can be depressing. Counseling helps with the loss and disorientation.
Loss of a stabilizing parent can really destabilize a high conflict adult child's other relationships.
High conflict people view things in black and white terms. Try to stay above the "teams" forming during probate.

Losing a family member is always difficult, but even more complicated when high conflict is involved. Bill and Megan provide compassionate insight into managing these challenging situations and emotions. They remind us that empathy, perspective and communication are key.

Links & Other Notes

CONSULTATION & COACHING
- Live Lab (1:1 coaching to learn verbal and written communication skills in high conflict situations)
- Consultations (1:1 educational consultation to discuss high conflict situations and cases with our high conflict experts)
BOOKS
- 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life
- It’s All Your Fault!
ARTICLES
- Why Healing is Hard for High Conflict People
Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/
Submit a Question for Bill and Megan
All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.
You can also find these show notes at our site as well.

Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

(00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
(00:33) - Grief Over the Death of a High Conflict Loved One
(01:14) - Grief, Relief, and Guilt
(03:22) - Stages of Grief
(07:07) - When You Were Their Target of Blame
(09:19) - When Caregiving Parent of HCP Dies
(13:04) - Family Relationships – Complicated and Source of Identity
(16:28) - When a Narcissistic Parent Dies
(19:52) - Focus on Positive
(21:06) - Wrap Up
(21:26) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Civil Communications for Lawyers and Law Offices