Why She Stayed Ep. 73: How Did I Get Here (Again)? : A Story of Two Abusive Relationships
Oct 14, 2025
Dive into a heart-wrenching tale as Alissa shares her journey through two abusive relationships. Discover how early signs of financial and physical abuse often go unnoticed. Explore the emotional manipulation that makes caretaking seem necessary, and the creeping patterns that led to repeated trauma. Alissa candidly discusses the harrowing experience of stalking, tech-enabled control, and the heart-wrenching moments of escaping with her children. This eye-opening conversation sheds light on resilience, forgiveness, and the importance of prioritizing safety.
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Quick Spark, Fast Move-In
- Alissa met her first abuser at a March Madness sports-bar meetup and they quickly connected over casual banter and astrology.
- He charmed her into calling him and they fast-tracked into living together within weeks, setting the stage for later abuse.
Unequal Life-Stages Matter
- Both abusers shared structural similarities: no car, no steady home, inconsistent employment, and different life-season mismatches.
- Alissa realized being equally yoked in responsibility and life stage matters for healthy relationships.
Hidden Court Orders And Restraining Order
- Alissa discovered her first partner was court-ordered into anger management and had a restraining order related to his child's mother.
- He hid those facts early on while she supported him through classes and drove him there.
