

Unpacking Bad Marriage Advice | Monica Tanner | #144
Relationship coach Monica Tanner returns to discuss her new book "Bad Marriage Advice: 15 Myths That Are Keeping You Miserable" and challenges conventional wisdom that may be damaging marriages. She explores how common advice like "happy wife, happy life" and "don't sweat the small stuff" creates imbalanced relationships, poor communication patterns, and prevents couples from addressing issues before they become serious problems.
• "Happy wife, happy life" places too much responsibility on women for the emotional atmosphere while encouraging men to silence their own needs
• "Divorce is not an option" can prevent couples from growing and making necessary changes when they believe they're stuck regardless of effort
• Instead of compromise where nobody gets what they want, try collaboration through curiosity about each other's underlying needs
• Newlyweds should establish a relationship with a coach/counselor early as prevention rather than waiting for crisis
• "Don't sweat the small stuff" ignores how minor irritations become major resentments—address issues while they're still small
• Most relationship patterns stem from childhood programming and past experiences that shape automatic reactions
• The key to stronger marriages is consciousness (understanding yourself and your partner) and effective communication
• Happily ever after is possible when couples view marriage as a "people-growing machine" that helps them become their best selves
Find Monica Tanner's book at badmarriageadvice.com or learn more about her work at monicatanner.com.
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