Meredith for Real: the curious introvert Ep. 321: Relationship Boundaries: NIGHTMARES, Ultimatums & Inner Demons
Are healthy boundaries lines in the sand? Going no contact?
KC Davis is licensed professional counselor, host of the podcast Struggle Care & author of Who Deserves your love: how to create boundaries to start, strengthen or end any relationship.
In this episode, she unpacks the girl bossification of boundaries, the decision flowchart of no contact, how values make “hard calls” easier & how the internet sells quipping one-liners & emphasizes hard lines over nuance.
Guest:
https://www.instagram.com/strugglecare/
https://www.facebook.com/StruggleCare/
Host:
https://www.meredithforreal.com/
https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/
https://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal
https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert
Sponsors:
https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/
https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/
00:00 — Shower fights & imaginary comebacks
01:50 — Boundaries aren’t quippy one-liners
03:58 — When the boundary advice trap backfires
04:22 — The real definition of an internal boundary
05:05 — How to prep for real-life conflict (not Instagram conflict)
05:42 — Thanksgiving, awkward uncles & psychic responsibility
10:20 — Awareness as Boundary Step One
10:55 — MythBuster: Is there always a winner and a loser?
13:07 — The vulnerability cycle explained
14:10 — When your “issues” aren’t actually your issues
16:22 — How two people accidentally activate each other
18:17 — Boundary Disaster #1: The evangelizing step-dad
20:02 — “Reasonable requests don’t make unreasonable people comply”
21:11 — Deciding what’s livable — not magical
24:14 — Why reframing the offender sometimes helps
25:26 — The stories we tell about other people’s behavior
28:05 — Compassion vs. justifying harm
32:00 — Boundary Disaster #2: The secret sex-offender friend
33:10 — KC’s decision tree for impossible situations
36:08 — Why values make “hard calls” easier
37:02 — MythBuster: Does cheating predict cheating?
40:02 — MythBuster: Must you heal before you date?
43:03 — Boundary Disaster #3: Grandma, screen time & parental authority
44:00 — “How do I get her to respect my decisions?”
47:55 — Middle-ground boundaries for real parents
48:35 — Final thoughts: Boundaries as self-ownership
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