Hello Monday with Jessi Hempel The Likeability Trap and How to Escape It
Sep 22, 2025
In this engaging discussion, Kate Mason, an executive coach and former world champion debater, tackles the success-likability paradox that challenges women in leadership. She shares strategies to help women project authority without sacrificing authenticity. Kate emphasizes that likability and power are not opposites, urging listeners to embrace their authentic selves. They delve into the flaws of 'executive presence,' the impact of over-preparation, and the importance of reframing failure as a tool for growth. This conversation offers a fresh perspective on gaining influence with confidence.
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Early Debate Shapes Communication
- Kate Mason started debating young as one of few women and got gendered feedback on her style.
- She learned early that men were praised for gravitas while she was told she was 'too much.'
The Success–Likeability Paradox
- The success–likability paradox says women become less liked as they gain power while men become more liked.
- Kate argues this doesn't have to be true and communication can reconcile likability with authority.
Authority Is Not One-Size-Fits-All
- Authority is often coded as masculine, shaped by archetypes like 1950s newsreaders.
- Kate says there are many ways to show authority beyond masculinized performance.
