The Psychology of your 20s 374. The psychology of regret
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Jan 12, 2026 Exploring the deep impact of regret, the discussion highlights how choices in our 20s can shape our futures and evoke self-blame. Key insights reveal that upward counterfactual thinking can intensify pain, while inaction triggers the most regrets. It also examines why the fear of future regret can paralyze decisions, stressing that embracing imperfect choices is crucial. Radical self-compassion is presented as a path to transformation, inviting listeners to view regret as a sign of agency and a learning opportunity.
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Regret Is Counterfactual Grief
- Regret is rooted in counterfactual thinking where we imagine alternative life paths we could have taken.
- Those imagined 'what if' scenarios create emotional pain by comparing reality to a preferable alternative.
Self-Blame Turns What-Ifs Into Regret
- Upward counterfactuals imagine better outcomes and cause hurt, while downward ones imagine worse outcomes and can comfort us.
- Regret requires self-blame; without blaming yourself, counterfactuals don't become regret.
Regret Predicts Poorer Mental Health When Blame Exists
- Regret linked to blame and perceived ability to change correlates with worse mental health outcomes.
- Feeling you could have acted differently increases depression and anxiety risks.
