The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

[Encore Episode] Covert Emotional Abuse with Annette Oltmans

10 snips
Aug 14, 2025
In this insightful discussion, Annette Oltmans, a philanthropist and founder of The M3ND Project, delves into the often-overlooked realm of covert emotional abuse. She shares her personal journey through prolonged emotional abuse and the complexities of recognizing manipulative behaviors. Annette highlights the four pillars of abuse and emphasizes the importance of specialized therapy for recovery. Listeners will gain valuable insights into the dynamics of abusive relationships and the significance of setting boundaries for healing.
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ANECDOTE

How The MEND Project Began

  • Annette founded The MEND Project after her own prolonged covert emotional abuse and experiences of being doubly harmed by responders.
  • She interviewed hundreds of victims, therapists, and faith leaders to build resources and trainings for survivors.
INSIGHT

Naming Creates Clarity

  • Victims remain confused because there is no language to name covert emotional abuse and its tactics.
  • Annette argues clarity — naming behaviors — is the first necessary step toward healing.
ADVICE

Use Structured Cohorts For Recovery

  • Join or use structured survivor cohorts that combine short weekly lessons with live discussion for guided recovery.
  • Annette runs a seven-week curriculum with live sessions to expand on weekly material.
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