Carrie Jenkins, a philosophy professor at the University of British Columbia and author of 'Sad Love,' discusses the complexity of romantic love. She challenges the traditional view that love is solely about happiness, advocating for a broader understanding that includes struggle and emotional depth. The conversation delves into the idea of love as a collective journey, emphasizing mutual support and the importance of personal freedom within relationships. Jenkins also explores the philosophical implications of non-monogamous love, highlighting its potential for personal growth.
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Harmful Myth of Love
The fairy tale myth of love sets an unrealistic standard for happiness.
This unattainable ideal often leads to feelings of failure and inadequacy in real relationships.
insights INSIGHT
Sad Love Defined
Sad love acknowledges a full spectrum of emotions, not just happiness.
Sadness in love isn't a failure but a valid human experience.
insights INSIGHT
Eudaimonic Love
Eudaimonic love prioritizes shared meaning and good spirits over constant happiness.
It focuses on collaborative projects and values-driven actions within a relationship.
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In *What Love Is: And What It Could Be*, philosopher Carrie Jenkins offers a bold new theory on the nature of romantic love. She examines the cultural, social, and scientific interpretations of love, arguing that love is both a social construct and a physical manifestation. Motivated by her own polyamorous relationships, Jenkins discusses how parameters of love have changed to be more accepting of homosexual, interracial, and non-monogamous relationships. The book blends thorough research with personal experiences to present a readable and highly informative exploration of love in all its forms.
Nicomachean Ethics
Aristotle
The Nicomachean Ethics is Aristotle's most renowned work on ethics, focusing on the science of the good for human life. The text is divided into ten books and discusses the concept of eudaimonia, often translated as 'happiness' or 'flourishing,' which is achieved through living a virtuous life. Aristotle argues that eudaimonia is an activity of the soul in accordance with virtue, emphasizing the importance of reason, moral virtues, and the pursuit of excellence. The work also explores the division of the soul, the role of rationality in human life, and the ultimate goal of human activity, which is to achieve happiness through virtuous actions and a complete life[1][2][4].
Man's Search for Meaning
Viktor Frankl
The book is divided into two parts. The first part recounts Frankl's harrowing experiences as a prisoner in Nazi concentration camps, including Auschwitz, between 1942 and 1945. He describes the inhumane conditions and the psychological and emotional struggles of the prisoners. The second part introduces Frankl's theory of logotherapy, which posits that the primary human drive is the search for meaning, rather than pleasure. Frankl argues that meaning can be found through three main avenues: work (doing something significant), love (caring for another), and suffering (finding meaning in one's own suffering). The book emphasizes the importance of finding purpose and meaning in life, even in the most adverse conditions, as a key factor in survival and personal growth.
Sad Love
Carrie Jenkins
In 'Sad Love: Romance and the Search for Meaning', Carrie Jenkins challenges traditional romantic ideals by proposing a new philosophy of love. This philosophy, which she terms 'sad love', acknowledges the pain and suffering inherent in love as a natural part of its value. Jenkins argues that by embracing these complexities, we can develop a more meaningful understanding of love beyond the conventional 'happy ever after' narratives.
Nausea
Jean-Paul Sartre
Published in 1938, 'Nausea' is Jean-Paul Sartre's first novel and a seminal work in existentialist literature. The story follows Antoine Roquentin, a solitary historian living in the fictional town of Bouville, as he experiences intense feelings of nausea and existential crisis. Through Roquentin's diary entries, Sartre delves into themes such as the contingency of existence, the distinction between 'being-in-itself' and 'being-for-itself,' and the idea that 'existence precedes essence.' Roquentin's struggles with his research on the Marquis de Rollebon and his interactions with people around him highlight the absurdity and randomness of the world, leading him to confront the bare existence of things and the meaninglessness of human existence. The novel is a profound exploration of existential angst, freedom, and responsibility[2][3][4].
Sean Illing talks with Carrie Jenkins about her new book Sad Love, and her call to rethink the shape and boundaries of romantic love. In this far-ranging discussion about the meaning of romantic love, Sean and Carrie discuss the connection between love and happiness, what we should expect (and not expect) from our romantic partners, and whether or not loving a person must entail that we love only that person.
Host: Sean Illing (@seanilling), Interviews Writer, Vox
The Gray Area with Sean Illing 
